On 04/19/2017 12:48 AM, Karsten Wade wrote: > So what I like is this, with Jeff Sandys' reordering, addition of > free/open, some Oxford commas, and replacement of lights-up: > > Fedora creates an innovative free/open platform for users, community > members, and software developers to build solutions for hardware, > containers, and clouds. I like this. To bring it a tad closer to the original statement: 1) "Fedora creates an innovative free & open source platform for users, community members, and software developers to build tailored hardware, container, and cloud solutions." "Solutions" is kind of jargon-y too, but more in a worn and overused than a cheese sense. It might be better to focus on what a solution does for the end users - progressively more grandiose from 2 to 4 below: 2) "Fedora creates an innovative platform for users, community members, and software developers to solve problems using free & open source technology for hardware, containers, and clouds." 3) "Fedora creates an innovative platform for users, community members, and software developers to better the lives of their users via free & open source technology for hardware, containers, and clouds." 4) "Fedora creates an innovative platform for users, community members, and software developers to create a better world using free & open source technology for hardware, containers, and clouds." ~m _______________________________________________ council-discuss mailing list -- council-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx To unsubscribe send an email to council-discuss-leave@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
