Re: Rude responses (Was: Last Call: <draft-ietf-spfbis-4408bis-19.txt> (Sender Policy Framework (SPF) for Authorizing Use of Domains in Email, Version 1) to Proposed Standard)

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In this conversation between Pete and Dave, there's one point that's
come up which has come up often enough that I want to call it out
separately for comment:

>> the only purpose it seems to serve is to bully others into not
>> participating in the conversation.
>
> You think I could bully Patrik?  Good luck with that, too.

Let's take this out of the context of the discussion at hand, and be
more general -- because, as I said, I'm reacting not to the statement
as it stands, but to how often I've seen it made (twice within the
last few weeks alone).

The form is this:
Point: You behaved badly toward [person X].
Counterpoint: Well, [person X] has been around, he can handle it.

Often, there's a further response that agrees that, indeed, [person X]
can take it, so all is OK.

No.  All is not OK.
What this argument leaves out is consideration of everyone *else*
who's reading this exchange and putting themselves in the shoes of
[person X].  Many of them are looking at what to expect from engaging
in IETF discussions, many of them are not old-timers with thick skins
and an understanding of IETF rhetoric, and many of them will be put
off of participating because they see how we treat those who do
participate.

Again, remember: I'm not talking about this particular discussion, so
let's not fixate on whether or not being abrupt, sarcastic, abusive,
offensive, profane, or whatever... is appropriate for this
conversation.  The general point is that the new people whom we want
to draw in as productive participants will be watching how we treat
each other and deciding whether they want to wade into that pool.

Barry




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