Chris, We ALL have our personal crosses to bear. I certainly have more than I care to think about. At times, they become almost overwhelming. My work is interesting and I enjoy it most of the time. I enjoy trying to keep up and learning new things. It usually pays the bills. But for me, my job is not enough. What works for me may not work for you, but I can't let my life be defined by my job. I have seen people retire and deteriorate rapidly because they have no life beyond their job. I am VERY good at what I do, but it is still the job. I need more. Just like you, I have questions I seek answers to, so I am trying to continually learn more about many things. LEARNING is my personal key. My daddy, getting on in years and no longer able to see well, surprised me greatly when he said the same thing to me last year. His eyes are not what they used to be, but his mind is sharp and he is constantly trying to learn new things. I would love to be an educator, but I don't have the credentials. But lack of credentials does not mean that I can't learn more. So I do, constantly. The universe is vast and unknown. I try to find out as much as I can and to seek my own answers. I am probably going to take a philosophy course next semester to restructure my mind out of a scientific problem-solving mode into a more universal problem-solving mode. I may not be solve everything, but I can try to understand. I envy you for your opportunity to talk to learned minds. I read, I search the I'net for specific answers, I take classes via the I'net, but I have no one to talk to. My quests are personal. My thoughts are more universal, but no one around me really cares about what I learn. There is no one to discuss where my mind is or where it wants to go. But I still try to go, to expand, to learn. You have academics you can talk to, to query about your thoughts, to ask for help in your quests for learning and understanding. I do not have the opportunities. We all live in our own personal hells. But your life has ladders leading upwards that I wish I had in mine. pax rand
