Re-, Thank you for double checking. Much appreciated! Please see inline. Cheers, Med > -----Message d'origine----- > De : tom p. [mailto:daedulus@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] > Envoyé : mardi 27 février 2018 13:37 > À : BOUCADAIR Mohamed IMT/OLN > Cc : softwires@xxxxxxxx; draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang@xxxxxxxx; softwire- > chairs@xxxxxxxx; ianfarrer@xxxxxxx; terry.manderson@xxxxxxxxx; ietf > Objet : Re: Last Call: <draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang-14.txt> (A YANG Data > Module for Dual-Stack Lite (DS-Lite)) to Proposed Standard > > Med > > Two thoughts. > > You have a reference clause for RFC8343 which is good, but it does not > appear in the Reference section of the I-D which I think it should. [Med] Hmm. We do have such entry: [I-D.ietf-netmod-rfc7223bis] Bjorklund, M., "A YANG Data Model for Interface Management", draft-ietf-netmod-rfc7223bis-03 (work in progress), January 2018. It > then needs to appear in the text part of the I-D lest you get a unused > reference warning, perhaps at the start of section 3, or else in section > 2. (I like the approach of rfc7227bis which lists all the imports > together). > > Second, when you say > " Also, update this sentence with the RFC number to be assigned to this > document: > o "RFC YYYY: A YANG Module for Network Address Translation (NAT) and > Network Prefix Translation (NPT)" > 'this document' could be misread as > draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang > rather than > I-D.ietf-opsawg-nat-yang > I suggest replacing 'this document' by ' ietf-opsawg-nat-yang' > I know, picky, but I like the RFC Editor to have to think as little as > possible so they can concentrate on what they do so well. [Med] If you think this can be misinterpreted, I'm happy to change it. I will fix it in my local copy but will wait for other comments from the IESG review before releasing a new version. > > Tom Petch > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: <mohamed.boucadair@xxxxxxxxxx> > Sent: Tuesday, February 27, 2018 7:13 AM > > > Hi Tom, > > > > FWIW, an updated version which takes into account your review is > available online. > > > > The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is: > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang/ > > > > A diff from the previous version is available at: > > https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang-15 > > > > Cheers, > > Med > > > > > -----Message d'origine----- > > > De : mohamed.boucadair@xxxxxxxxxx > [mailto:mohamed.boucadair@xxxxxxxxxx] > > > Envoyé : mardi 20 février 2018 14:34 > > > À : tom p. > > > Cc : softwires@xxxxxxxx; draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang@xxxxxxxx; > softwire- > > > chairs@xxxxxxxx; ianfarrer@xxxxxxx; terry.manderson@xxxxxxxxx; > ietf@xxxxxxxx > > > Objet : RE: Last Call: <draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang-14.txt> (A > YANG Data > > > Module for Dual-Stack Lite (DS-Lite)) to Proposed Standard > > > > > > Hi Tom, > > > > > > Thank you for the review and comments. > > > > > > Please see inline. > > > > > > Cheers, > > > Med > > > > > > > -----Message d'origine----- > > > > De : tom p. [mailto:daedulus@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] > > > > Envoyé : mardi 20 février 2018 12:07 > > > > À : ietf@xxxxxxxx > > > > Cc : softwires@xxxxxxxx; draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang@xxxxxxxx; > > > softwire- > > > > chairs@xxxxxxxx; ianfarrer@xxxxxxx; terry.manderson@xxxxxxxxx > > > > Objet : Re: Last Call: <draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang-14.txt> (A > YANG > > > Data > > > > Module for Dual-Stack Lite (DS-Lite)) to Proposed Standard > > > > > > > > Some minor, mostly administrative, details > > > > > > > > - The note to the RFC Editor asking them to replace XXXX is good. > I > > > > suggest another asking them to update the dates in the file and > > > > revision clauses of the YANG module with the date of publication.. > > > > > > [Med] Fixed in my local copy. > > > > > > > > > > > - Copyright is 2017 > > > > > > [Med] Updated to 2018 in my local copy. > > > > > > > > > > > - the YANG module has six imports but no reference to where they > can be > > > > found. I suggest adding a reference clause to each import, as in > e.g. > > > > draft-ietf-netmod-syslog-model, > > > > > > [Med] Happily. Done. > > > > > > > > > and, since the reference clause cannot > > > > contain a XML style reference to the Reference section of the I-D, > a > > > > further mention of these I-D/RFC in the body of the I-D, again as > in > > > > e.g. > > > > draft-ietf-netmod-syslog-model > > > > > > [Med] Given that almost all these pointers are already mentioned in > the core > > > text, I added only a sentence to refer to RFC7224. > > > > > > > > > > > - RFC7223 now has a bis version which I think you should use as it > is > > > > the NMDA version - this might affect your augments, I have not > delved > > > > into that yet. > > > > > > [Med] Now that the 7223bis is in the RFC Editor queue, I updated the > text. > > > > > > > > > > > - RFC5246 is being obsoleted and ... perhaps not:-) > > > > > > [Med] Yeah, but RFC5246 is part of the recommended security text for > YANG > > > modules > (https://trac.ietf.org/trac/ops/wiki/yang-security-guidelines). > > > RFC5246 will be maintained till that reco is updated. > > > > > > > > > > > - RFC 6536 is being revised and will soon be in IETF Last Call > > > > > > [Med] Actually, it will be published as RFC8341. I updated the text > > > accordingly. > > > > > > > > > > > Tom Petch > > > > > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > > > From: "The IESG" <iesg-secretary@xxxxxxxx> > > > > Sent: Monday, February 12, 2018 2:28 PM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The IESG has received a request from the Softwires WG (softwire) > to > > > > consider > > > > > the following document: - 'A YANG Data Module for Dual-Stack > Lite > > > > (DS-Lite)' > > > > > <draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang-14.txt> as Proposed Standard > > > > > > > > > > The IESG plans to make a decision in the next few weeks, and > solicits > > > > final > > > > > comments on this action. Please send substantive comments to the > > > > > ietf@xxxxxxxx mailing lists by 2018-02-26. Exceptionally, > comments may > > > > be > > > > > sent to iesg@xxxxxxxx instead. In either case, please retain the > > > > beginning of > > > > > the Subject line to allow automated sorting. > > > > > > > > > > Abstract > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > This document defines a YANG module for the DS-Lite Address > Family > > > > > Transition Router (AFTR) and Basic Bridging BroadBand (B4) > > > > elements. > > > > > > > > > > Editorial Note (To be removed by RFC Editor) > > > > > > > > > > Please update these statements with the RFC number to be > assigned > > > > to > > > > > this document: > > > > > > > > > > o "This version of this YANG module is part of RFC XXXX;" > > > > > > > > > > o "RFC XXXX: A YANG Data Module for Dual-Stack Lite > (DS-Lite)"; > > > > > > > > > > o "reference: RFC XXXX" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The file can be obtained via > > > > > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang/ > > > > > > > > > > IESG discussion can be tracked via > > > > > > > > > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang/ballot/ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > No IPR declarations have been submitted directly on this I-D. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The document contains these normative downward references. > > > > > See RFC 3967 for additional information: > > > > > draft-ietf-opsawg-nat-yang: A YANG Module for Network > Address > > > > Translation (NAT) (None - IETF stream) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
