Hello Mallory
Many thanks for your review and comments. I agree with your
constructive
points and made the proposed changes.
Please see below:
Le lun. 7 oct. 2024 à 16:24, Mallory Knodel via Datatracker <noreply@xxxxxxxx> a écrit :
Reviewer: Mallory Knodel
Review result: Ready with Issues
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Document: draft-ietf-raw-technologies-??
Reviewer: Mallory Knodel
Review Date: 2024-10-07
IETF LC End Date: 2024-09-18
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
Summary: This document is a very useful informational text about the
requirements of reliability and availability for various uses in networks
connected with wireless technologies.
Major issues: The introduction could make it clearer to the reader how the
technologies were chosen, if it is a complete set at the time of writing, and
other revisions that indicate more clearly the purpose. I also find the final
paragraph of the introduction more helpful about the document's contents than
the current abstract:
This document browses the short and middle range radio technologies
that are suitable to provide a DetNet/RAW service over, presents the
characteristics that RAW may leverage, and explores the applicability
of the technologies to carry deterministic flows. The studied
technologies are Wi-Fi 6/7, TimeSlotted Channel Hopping (TSCH), 3GPP
5G, and L-band Digital Aeronautical Communications System (LDACS).
Used as abstract.
Minor issues:
Other reviewers have also noted the slightly awkward "summary" subsection at
the end of each section and my suggested approach might be to include this as
the *first* paragraph for each section, before the subsections begin, eg:
4. IEEE 802.11
[Summary paragraph without subsection heading]
4.1. Provenance and Documents
done
...
Nits/editorial comments: (none).
Many thanks!
Pascal
--
Pascal
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