Christer, thank you for your review. I have entered an Abstain ballot for this document based on my own review. Lars > On 2022-10-4, at 13:19, Christer Holmberg via Datatracker <noreply@xxxxxxxx> wrote: > > Reviewer: Christer Holmberg > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-homenet-front-end-naming-delegation-18 > Reviewer: Christer Holmberg > Review Date: 2022-10-04 > IETF LC End Date: 2022-10-04 > IESG Telechat date: 2022-10-20 > > Summary: > > Since the topic is outside the area of my expertise, I have no technical > comments. I do think the document is a little difficult to read. Below I have a > couple of editorial comments, and I think addressing those could improve the > readability of the document. > > Major issues: N/A > > Minor issues: N/A > > Nits/editorial comments: > > Q1: > > In my opinion the Introduction section is too long, and goes into too many > details. There are also things which I don't think belong to the Introduction. > > For example, I don't think the text in Section 1.1 belongs to the Introduction, > and is not needed in order to get an overview of the mechanism. I think it > belongs to a separate section (perhaps an Appendix). The same applies to > Section 1.3. > > Similarly, Section 1.2 seems to talk about alternative solutions, before the > solution in the draft has been clearly explained. I think it should be a > separate section, later in the document. > > Q2: > > It is quite difficult to get a picture of how the mechanism work. There are no > examples, or step-by-step functionality/use-case descriptions. Also, Section > 3.1 seems to be a mixture of architecture and functionality, which is a little > confusing. > > > > -- > last-call mailing list > last-call@xxxxxxxx > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/last-call
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