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On 02/08/2015 09:40 AM, Trupti Kini
wrote:
Thanks for contributing to the Fedora Magazine, here are a few quick notes on your post: * Maybe tighten up the headline / title of the post a bit to make it more news-y. Something like: "Fedora community in Mumbai, India celebrates the Fedora 21 release" -- we have a global audience, so most won't know where or what "Homi Bhabha Centre for Science Education" is (i had to google it) * I'd probably open the article with a bit of filler about what a release party is. Maybe something like: "Every time a new release of Fedora becomes available, Fedora user communities around the world gather to share the new release with each other, upgrade their systems, and eat celebratory cake. In December, a release party was held at the..." * With the content under the opening paragraph, it is a little hard to follow if some of the statements about Fedora (GNOME, Openstack etc), were said by the speakers you call out, or if they are just statements about the release. * For an article like this, describing what the speakers talked about is good, but try not to get into too much detail. Some of the quotes you have there are good stuff to include too. cheers, ryanlerch |
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