On 06/18/2011 10:47 PM, Cody Jackson wrote: > On 6/18/11, Manuel Wolfshant<wolfy@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote: >> Hello >> >> I've created the first version of the ReleaseNotes page for CentOS >> 6.0 in the wiki. As usual, corrections / additions / translations are >> welcome. >> > Hi; > > I just glanced at this after breakfast, thanks ! > and I spotted a few > grammatical errors you might wish to change: > > Section 2: > "upstream vendors redistribution policy" should probably be "upstream > vendor's redistribution policy." (In fact, I notice this is on the 5.6 > release notes page as well.) fixed in both places > Section 6.3: > "Even as an inexperienced CentOS user we can use your help" sounds a > bit like the release team is comprised of inexperienced CentOS users. > It is, of course, not! Perhaps something like "Even as an > inexperienced CentOS user, you can help the CentOS project!" would > work better? uhm. I'll leave that to people with more English knowledge than me. It looks fine from where I stand. > This line made me pause as well: > "Because we like to know what problems you encountered, if you had > problems finding specific information, how you would improve > documentation so it becomes more accessible." > > At the least, it should have a question mark at the end, uhmm.. no. It's a enumeration of things we'd like to be informed of, not a question. it's not "Would we like to know ... ?" but "we like to know a b and c". there is a difference between: "We like to know. What problems ..? How would you?" and "we like to know [...] how would you" > although it > is an awkward question. How does one improve documentation? The > average user probably will not know. It might be better to include > some specific advice here: get in touch with the dev team, contribute > your own documentation, etc. it's described exactly one paragraph below :) _______________________________________________ CentOS-docs mailing list CentOS-docs@xxxxxxxxxx http://lists.centos.org/mailman/listinfo/centos-docs
