I've heard those WN announcements many a time,..it keeps the pax paying attention. Walter DCA ----- Original Message ----- From: "Richard A Whitenight" <rum.runner@juno.com> To: <AIRLINE@LISTSERV.CUNY.EDU> > AIRLINE ANNOUNCEMENTS WE'D ENJOY HEARING > All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight > "safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. > Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: > On a Continental flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the > pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and > will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to > enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." > On landing, the flight attendant said, "Please be sure to take all your > belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's > something we'd like to have." > After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a > flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when > opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, > sure as hell everything has shifted." > From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 1342 > to Phoenix. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the > buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt and, if > you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be in public > unsupervised!" > Another pre-flight announcement contained this advice: "In the event of a > sudden loss of cabin pressure, a mask will descend from the ceiling. Stop > screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small > child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting the child > with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child.pick > your favorite." > Heard on a Pan American Airlines just after a very hard landing in San > Francisco Airport: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, > "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to > tell you it wasn't the airlines fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it > wasn't the flight attendant's fault.it was the asphalt!" > A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a > comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the > intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking: Welcome > to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather > ahead is good and therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful > flight. Now, just sit back and relax - OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed and > after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, > "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I > was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled > the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A > passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of > mine!" >