On Wed, 2019-04-17 at 08:26 -0400, Paul Frields wrote: > Overall I think this article turned out very good. A couple points, > though... I recommend using the Yoast SEO and readability plugins to > help guide writing. For instance, this article shows up with too many > passive voice sentences. In that case, it's useful to go back and > rewrite to make the prose stronger. If you can put "by Klingons" at > the end of the sentence and it makes grammatical and syntactical > sense, it's passive voice. So for example: > > Passive: Using the --rebuild option, the RAID array can be > reassembled. ["...by Klingons" works, so rewrite.] > Active (better): Use the --rebuild option to reassemble the RAID > array. ["...by Klingons" test fails.] I think I get the gist of the concept. I cringe a bit at writing thinks such as "Use 'dd of=/dev/sda' to write to your hard drive" though. My instincts tell me it is better to write that sort of thing in a passive voice -- "The 'dd of=/dev/sda' command could be used ...". The former is a command, the latter is an explanation. Explaining how things work is great. But commanding people to do things goes against my nature a bit. I guess I'd make a lousy Klingon. :-P Is there any danger of people going after the magazine legally because "Well, you TOLD me to ..." > > Also the plugin notes this article could use some breaking up with > subheadings for more readability. What the plugin things is readable and what I think is readable aren't always the same thing. I tend to think my grasp of human languages is a bit superior to the computer's personally. > > There's also a snippet that should be filled out for SEO, so search > engines show the right kind of excerpt. I made a few tweaks and > will publish since no one scheduled it already. > > > Paul _______________________________________________ Fedora Magazine mailing list -- magazine@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx To unsubscribe send an email to magazine-leave@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Fedora Code of Conduct: https://getfedora.org/code-of-conduct.html List Guidelines: https://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Mailing_list_guidelines List Archives: https://lists.fedoraproject.org/archives/list/magazine@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
