In today's news... Eastman Kodak announced they will be moving from the company's Rochester, NY location to an undisclosed West coast location and changing the name to Westman Kodak. Agfa will stop making anything & now buy all supplies from Freestyle in Los Angeles, re-name it & sell it as New Agfa Ltd film, paper & chemistry. Leica will require a financial statement from all prospective camera buyers as well as a genealogy & family history to see if the purchaser is worthy to own the worlds finest cameras. Nikon is making an across the board 63% price increase on all camera products. Company president, Joe Nikon was quoted as saying "it will cost a bundle to put our new logo on all these fricken' lenses". Minox have announced they will go into production with a full featured View camera. Full movements including swing, tilt, front & rear rise & fall, shift & long bellows extension of 4 1/ inches will be standard. Pentax announces the introduction of their latest 35mm fully manual camera designed for student use. Dubbed the P-on, it will be marketed to students in inner city schools, with a special edition to be sold in Palestine, called the P-on-U. Adobe today brought out the latest version of Photoshop. It does nothing new, uses twice the memory, costs 33% more ($189.95 for the upgrade version), but comes in a newly designed box with bright color graphics & includes a never before seen tutorial section with full color photos of former President Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in the oral office. The Ansel Adams trust plans on marketing 'Ansel for everyone' tattoo kits. These will consist of AA images one can tatoo on their forheads or other body parts. Kits will include some of Ansels most well known images with a special edition set of "moonrise" for placement on the buttocks. Wisner camera mfg. and Ken Hough announced an agreement in principal to merge operations. This is said to insure higher quality & lower waiting times for cameras to a mere 36 months... give or take a year or so. Also in the plans is a takeover of Ries Tripod company, thus assuring these legendary tripods will remain the stuff of legend as you will now have to wait til the 12th of never to get one after payment has been made. Calumet has made the bold move to "make everything in the world", re- badged with the Calumet name & logo & sold for prices only 30% more than you can get it from the guys who originally came up with the idea. Maine Photographic Workshops has decided to move to Florida. Director David Lyon, when asked why the move was taking place answered, "I am tired of freezing my butt off. This place is cold as hell & getting nude models to work for you is impossible. Miami will be a lot better, for sure, for sure good buddy. We'll just have classes on the beach & make a fortune by cutting overhead". Ann Geddes announced she will have to stop marketing her trademark babies in peapod images due to the worldwide 'peapod blight' that now makes it impossible to get perfect peapods to put these little cuties in. Noted photographer Sally Mann has stated she will now only purchase brand new Schneider lenses for here work. When asked about he sudden change in direction she replied, "I had laser surgery on the eyes & I can finally see sharply enough to focus the camera so new lenses are a natural". The Edward Weston estate has announced a new marketing plan. Exhumation of Edward & Brett will take place and they will be honored guests at a series of workshops to be held at Point Lobos. Workshop participants can have their photograph taken with both. Happy April Fool's Day --- Luis
