In my quest for a stamp quality image, I resolved to take the first step this weekend. So I packed my monorail 4x5 into my brand new backpack and headed to the shore of Lake Erie to some cliffs I had found earlier while somehow convincing my wife that I was lost and not actually scouting photo locations. Now that I think about it, its probably not that hard to believe. Anyway I got my brother-in-law Sean to go along. When we got out of the car and I strapped on my back pack I realized this was going to be a very educational day and some of the things I learned may be of benefit so others so I will list the lessons I learned in the order I discovered them and not in order of importance. Lesson 1: There is at least one reason Lowepro packs cost $300. My $9.73 Walmart back-to-school special was sadistically designed so that no matter how you pack it, it will lean away from your shoulders and the padding on the straps will slip down your back instead of on your shoulders. Now the cliff we were about to descend (rapidly) is made of an amusing clay and sand mixture that when wet (it rained the day before) forgets it has any sand in it and lets its clay side reign supreme. Two minutes into our descent, both Sean and I slipped. My first fall yanked my tripod from its bungee cord and somehow unzipped a flap on my backpack. My second fall hastened my descent without causing any serious injury or equipment damage so I consider that one a gift. Once at the bottom I immediately discovered a truly beautifuly toned piece of driftwood that was part of a fallen tree trunk laying in the surf. I climbed out onto another fallen tree, set up my tripod and began to unpack my camera. Lesson 2: Set up your camera on the beach and not on a fallen tree in the surf as the waves roll over your shoes and threaten all your gear. So amongst all the noise and waves and while worrying about the questionable backpack hooked on a root, while ironically sweating like a pig under the black cloth while surrounded by water, I somehow managed to forget to set the aperture before taking the photo. (I noticed it when I developed the completely black negative). We took a few more photos and then decided to find a safer route back up. We found a spot that was far less steep and began hacking our way through waist high brambles and weeds. What appeared from the beach to be the top of the cliff turned out to be just a plateau. Well actually not just a plateau but a swamp and not just a swamp but the most densely populated giant mosquito breeding ground know to mankind. Determined not to go back through the hell we had just traversed we decided to continue on. Luckily I was covered with mud from my descent but that just seemed to anger the pests and they concentrated on my ears, nose and mouth. I sure was glad we had chosen not to climb back up naked like we originally planned! Things were getting too easy at this point but as luck would have it, it turned out that the swamp at one point in time had been used as a scrap metal and wire fence dumping site so the rest of the way up we dreamed of a sudden death and not the impending tetnus induced lockjaw the would overtake our bodies as the humming of a million mosquitos ravenously consumed teh blood that would soon flow from our severed limbs as we lay impaled on an antique plow handle. Well neither happened and we did make it to the top and after a couple of minutes rest in a cool graveyard, I decided to use up my last sheet of film. I set up the tripod and walked to my pack to get my camer and to my absolute joy, noticed the rail for my camera was missing. Lesson 3: Tightly cinching a strap around a camera rail is not securing it. There was no f***ing way I was going anywhere near the path I had just blazed to look for it but it turned out it was only 3 feet away. I set her up and took my last shot. We had travelled a diagonal path coming up the hill so we had to walk about twenty minutes to get back to the car and all in it was a good outing. The only thing that would have made it better would be for at least one of us to come home bleeding. I suggested to Sean that I could whack him on the shin with my tripod but he declined. Always leave them wanting more I guess. Some people might say there is a fourth lesson here which is don't do field photography with a monorail 4x5 but I say if its easy you aren't doing it right. Greg Fraser http://www.geocities.com/fraserg1962
