Thorsten Wilms wrote:
Hi!
http://www.archive.org/details/theres_a_girl
"There's a girl, that want's to own you
from your head, down to your toes
She wants your mind, your soul and spirit
Why it is, she only knows
You must take, your money with you
Every night, out on the town
You hesitate, just for an instant
She'll cut you loose, to sink and drown
Her heart is cold, so cold and deep boy
Like the waters, of the ocean's tongue
Her eyes are sharp, they'll stab your back boy
So watch her close, don't turn and run."
A text by drew Roberts, which you can find as spoken
words at
http://www.archive.org/details/dragirl
These words and the inherent rhythm inspired me to
make a track, and after trying rap and some kinda
reggae, I finally pulled this through.
My usual tools: Om, MusE, Jamin
Other tools: my voice, keyring and a coffee mug.
If anyone thinks he can add something, or do a
better job at singing ... i'm all ears and willing
to make revised version in cooperation.
All files can be made available on request.
All feedback welcome. I especialy like to hear
descriptions of the track, your own view on it.
Reviews at the archive would also be nice ;)
That's an interesting take on the topic.
- The wind is a nice touch.
- The timbre and rhythm of the vocal track fits very nicely.
- Your English passes the basic test of not obviously sounding like a
second language. Which is something that I have found ruins many
otherwise well crafted Amatuer/Semi-pro tracks.
- I found myself wanting the vocal to start about 1 minute into the track.
My suggestion is to bring in the vocal track earlier and loop it a
couple more times with more effects/layering/remixing/dubbing each time
to really highlight and emphasize the tormented, cynical and slightly
submissive nature of the lyrics.
Cheers.
--
Patrick Shirkey - Boost Hardware Ltd.
Http://www.boosthardware.com
Http://lau.linuxaudio.org - The Linux Audio Users guide
========================================
"Anything your mind can see you can manifest physically, then it will
become reality" - Macka B
