I am interested in the incoming traffic (from Internet to lan users). This is the problem.
Then there is no possibility to change the shaping to the bottleneck, as long as it is in the ISP routers. So you have to artificially create it in order to have a queue you can shape. There's only two ways you can achive this, either you can:
a) Reduce the speed, the one you already know but are not happy with.
b) Increase the delay, you could achive the queue just introducing a fixed delay to every packet that goes to the LAN. There is a qdisc called 'netem' that can do this, in principle it is only intended for emulating and testing, but it also can be used for this purpose (online gamers will not be very happy with this solution). I don't know if there is any other queuing discipline that can achive this or if it is not good to do this for some technical reason.
Maybe it could be possible not to penalize neither speed or delay using some kind of advanced solution that monitors how much bandwith is consuming each host and penalize only the hosts that are taking some % more than the average, or % more than totalacutalspeed/N. But it will be very compilcated as long as when a host is below the average you don't know whether it is for congestion or just becouse it is not making intensive use of the net.
Good luck, and remember that for incomming traffic you can only shape TCP connections, it has no sense dropping UDP packets as long as they have no speed regulating mechanism, and once you have recive them the bandwith has already been wasted.
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