I'm not sure I follow the problem, but if you're saying that one stream should have priority over the other, it seems you could do that with two different queues, one with priority over the other. Or something like sfq could at least prevent one connection from waiting for the other to send a lot of data.
You could if you have control over the queues. But they are on the remote ISP end... So the problem is similar to the one you describe - once the data is inflight you lose control but you want to limit how much data is inflight so that you have as much control as possible...
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