Re: TSV ART review of draft-ietf-tls-sni-encryption

[Bernard Aboba <bernard_aboba@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

On Sep 10, 2019, at 11:50 AM, Christian Huitema <huitema@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Thanks for the feedback, Bernard. We already fixed in the editor copy some of the issues that you described based on other feedback received during last call, but not all. Your comments about section 3.7.1 and section 5 are interesting. I like your suggestion of moving some of the text from section 5 to the introduction and believe that it will improve the document.

Regarding section 3.7.1, you suggest adding a comment on related work, and perhaps moving some of the discussion of ALPN there. I understand the rationale, but I am a bit worried about going too far there -- the current text reflects discussions and feedback on the TLS list. Also, if we did add a section on related work we would probably need to reference the deployment of encrypted DNS services, and I am a bit worried about doing that late in the production cycle. How about a compromise, such as pointing the issue in the introduction with a forward reference to section 3.7.1?

That would be fine.

-- Christian Huitema

On 9/9/2019 12:48 PM, Bernard Aboba wrote:

Document: draft-ietf-tls-sni-encryption

Reviewer: Bernard Aboba

Review result: Ready with Nits

This document has been reviewed as part of the transport area review team's

ongoing effort to review key IETF documents. These comments were written

primarily for the transport area directors, but are copied to the document's

authors and WG to allow them to address any issues raised and also to the IETF

discussion list for information.

When done at the time of IETF Last Call, the authors should consider this

review as part of the last-call comments they receive. Please always CC

tsv-art@xxxxxxxx if you reply to or forward this review.

I have not identified any transport related issues.

NITS

Expansion of acronyms on first use:

Abstract: TLS

Section 1: DNS

Section 2.1: ISP, QoS, MITM

Section 2

s/mutiple/multiple/

Section 2.1

s/fradulent/fraudulent/

Section 3.6

   The downside is the the

   client will not verify the identity of the fronting service with

   risks discussed in , but solutions will have to mitigate this risks.

[BA] Several problems with this sentence:

s/the the/the/

s/this risks/the risk/

s/discussed in ,/discussed in [REF-TBD],/

Section 3.7.1

This section seems somewhat out of place in a section on Security

and Privacy Requirements for SNI Encryption, given that it relates

to hiding of the ALPN, and the text admits a weak case for linking

the two problems:

   Using the same technique for hiding the ALPN and encrypting the SNI

   may result in excess complexity.  It might be preferable to encrypt

   these independently.

You might consider moving this section to Section 4.3.1, under Section 4.3

Related Work.

Section 5

The first paragraph of this section strikes me as being potentially better

suited to inclusion in Section 1 Introduction.

   Replacing clear text SNI transmission by an encrypted variant will

   improve the privacy and reliability of TLS connections, but the

   design of proper SNI encryption solutions is difficult.  This

   document does not present the design of a solution, but provides

   guidelines for evaluating proposed solutions.