Hi Tom,
Thanks for the review. We have posted the updated https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang-11 to address these issues, along with other review comments.
Best regards,
- Xufeng
On Sat, Jan 26, 2019 at 11:57 AM tom petch <daedulus@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Some initial thoughts on this I-D
Prefer 'Abstract' before 'Copyright' and 'Status'
[Xufeng]: Changed the order.
| acl | ietf-access-control-list | [I-D.ietf-acl-yang] |
better to have
| acl | ietf-access-control-list | [RFC YYYY] |
Note to RFC Editor please replace YYYY with number assigned to draft-
ietf-netmod-acl-model
[Xufeng]: Fixed.
YANG module needs the Copyright statement
[Xufeng]: Fixed.
4. IGMP and MLD YANG Modules
suggests that there are two modules but I only see one
[Xufeng]: The text is wrong. Fixed. There is only one module.
import ietf-inet-types {
and other imports need a reference clause to identify the RFC; for acl
you need such as
RFC YYYY "Network Access Control List (ACL) YANG Data Model",
Note to RFC Editor please replace YYYY with number assigned to draft-
ietf-netmod-acl-model
( you can put all RFC Editor Notes in one place at the front - they
prefer it this way)
[Xufeng]: Fixed.
revision 2019-01-03 {
there must only be one revision clause stating 'Initial revision' with
date of publication supplied by RFC Editor to match that on the file
statement
[Xufeng]: Removed the extra revision statetments.
several lines are too long e.g.
If QQIC >= 128, QQIC represents a floating-point value as
follows:
[Xufeng]: Fixed these lines and other lines with the same problem.
5. Security Considerations
transport is TLS [RFC5246].
this is now superseded
[Xufeng]: Updated.
6. IANA Considerations
Names registry [RFC7950]:
this is a poor reference since all it does is tell you to go to RFC6020;
better to tell the reader to go straight there.
[Xufeng]: Use RFC6020 now.
[I-D.ietf-netmod-rfc6087bis] Bierman, A., "Guidelines for Authors
this is now out of date - RFC8407
(and it tells you to do most of what I have listed above:-)
[Xufeng]: Updated.
Tom Petch
----- Original Message -----
From: "The IESG" <iesg-secretary@xxxxxxxx>
To: "IETF-Announce" <ietf-announce@xxxxxxxx>
Cc: <pim-chairs@xxxxxxxx>; <pim@xxxxxxxx>;
<draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang@xxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2019 8:28 PM
>
> The IESG has received a request from the Protocols for IP Multicast WG
(pim)
> to consider the following document: - 'A YANG data model for Internet
Group
> Management Protocol (IGMP) and
> Multicast Listener Discovery (MLD)'
> <draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang-10.txt> as Proposed Standard
>
> The IESG plans to make a decision in the next few weeks, and solicits
final
> comments on this action. Please send substantive comments to the
> ietf@xxxxxxxx mailing lists by 2019-02-08. Exceptionally, comments may
be
> sent to iesg@xxxxxxxx instead. In either case, please retain the
beginning of
> the Subject line to allow automated sorting.
>
> Abstract
>
>
> This document defines a YANG data model that can be used to
> configure and manage Internet Group Management Protocol (IGMP) and
> Multicast Listener Discovery (MLD) devices.
>
>
>
>
> The file can be obtained via
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang/
>
> IESG discussion can be tracked via
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-pim-igmp-mld-yang/ballot/
>
>
> No IPR declarations have been submitted directly on this I-D.
>
>
>
>
