Reviewer: Russ Housley Review result: Almost Ready I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-perc-double-10 Reviewer: Russ Housley Review Date: 2018-10-20 IETF LC End Date: 2018-11-01 IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: Almost Ready Major Concerns: Section 10: Doesn't the IANA registry needs to specify the PRF to be used with the ciphersuite as well? Minor Concerns: Section 3: It would be useful to explain the Master Key before the reader gets to Section 3.1. Section 3.1: It is unclear what assistance is provided by the additional level of indirection: PRF_double_n(k_master,x) = PRF_inner_(n/2)(k_master,x) || PRF_outer_(n/2)(k_master,x) PRF_inner_n(k_master,x) = PRF_n(inner(k_master),x) PRF_outer_n(k_master,x) = PRF_n(outer(k_master),x) It could just say: PRF_double_n(k_master,x) = PRF_(n/2)(inner(k_master),x) || PRF_(n/2)(outer(k_master),x) Section 4: I suggest: If the marker bit is not present, then B MUST be set to zero. Section 5, 1st paragraph: and endpoint cannot verify confidentiality. Nits: The document uses "encryption" and "confidentiality" interchanagably. Encryption is a mechanism or algorithm. Confidentiality is a security service. While I do not think that the reader will be confused by the current wording, it would be better to use the terms properly. In addition, it is misleading to say: ... the receiving endpoint that can encrypt and authenticate ... because the sending endpoint encrypts, and the recieving endpoints decrypts. Also, the receiving endpoints check the authentication tag. Abstract: s/authenticated encryption with associated data/ /authenticated encryption with associated data (AEAD)/ Abstract: s/scheme/algorithm/ Section 5.2: s/GCM/AES-GCM/ Section 7: s/HBH/hop-by-hop/ Section 7: s/E2E/end-to-end/ Section 7.1: s/HBH/hop-by-hop/ Section 7.2: The text is redundant. I suggest "etc" be dropped from "such as SSRC, SEQ, CSRC, etc" Section 7.2: s/non primary/non-primary/ Section 7.3: s/HBH/hop-by-hop/ Appendix A: s/HBH/hop-by-hop/ Appendix A: s/E2E/end-to-end/
