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Please see inline for [Senthil]
From: Paul Aitken <paitken@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Wednesday, March 2, 2016 at 8:58 AM To: Senthil Sivakumar <ssenthil@xxxxxxxxx>, "draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging@xxxxxxxx" <draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging@xxxxxxxx> Cc: "ietf@xxxxxxxx" <ietf@xxxxxxxx> Subject: Re: Last Call: <draft-ietf-behave-ipfix-nat-logging-06.txt> (IPFIX Information Elements for logging NAT Events) Senthil, I hadn't realised you'd published a new version of the draft. Please CC me if/when you update it again.
I've quickly reviewed the diffs between -06 and -07 : 1. Terminology " Any non-IPFIX terminology used to convey NAT events are described in this section." -> which section is "this" referring to? Since this paragraph seems only to serve as an introduction to the third paragraph which only contains a single exception, would it be better to remove these two lines and go directly to the third paragraph? : However, that causes confusion in terminology used in NAT specific terms and IPFIX IEs. Any non-IPFIX terminology used to convey NAT events are described in this section.[Senthil] How does this read? The IPFIX Information Elements that are NAT specific are created with
NAT terminology. In order to avoid creating duplicate IEs, IEs are reused if they convey the same meaning. This document uses the term timestamp for the Information element which defines the time when an event is logged, this is the same as IPFIX term observationTimeMilliseconds as described in [IPFIX-IANA]. Since observationTimeMilliseconds is not self explanatory for NAT implementors, this document uses the term timeStamp. 2. Introduction "This document details the IPFIX Information Elements(IEs)"-> No need to repeat "(IEs)" since this was already explained in the Terminology section. -> Remove the duplicated text: The IPFIX Protocol [RFC7011] defines a generic push mechanism for exporting information and events. The IPFIX Information Model [IPFIX-IANA] defines a set of standard IEs which can be carried by the IPFIX protocol. This document details the IPFIX Information Elements(IEs) that MUST be logged by a NAT device that supports NAT logging using IPFIX. This document details the IPFIX Information Elements(IEs) that MUST be logged by a NAT device that supports NAT logging using IPFIX, and all the optional fields. The fields specified in this document are gleaned from [RFC4787] and [RFC5382]. [Senthil] Done.
5.4. Quota exceeded Event types
-> In the " The events that can be reported are ...", I'd like to see the text be identical to the items listed in table 3 to remove any possible ambiguity. [Senthil] All of the events do match the table. The text is a little more verbose and descriptive, so that the table doesn’t have to have long text message. Let me know if the below is any better than before.
The events that can be reported are the Maximum session
entries limit reached, Maximum BIB entries limit reached, Maximum
(session/BIB) entries per user limit reached, Maximum active hosts limit
reached or maximum subscribers limit reached and
Maximum Fragments pending reassembly limit reached.
+---------------------------------------+--------+
| Quota Exceeded Event Name | Values |
+---------------------------------------+--------+
| Maximum Session entries | 1 |
| Maximum BIB entries | 2 |
| Maximum entries per user | 3 |
| Maximum active hosts or subscribers | 4 |
| Maximum fragments pending reassembly | 5 |
+---------------------------------------+--------+
5.6.8.4. Global Address mapping high threshold reached -> Extra whitespace at the period: "paired address pooling behavior ." [Senthil] Done.
8.1. New Information Elements / natLimitEvent, natThresholdEvent, -> typo: " describer in Table below." -> you should remove the "Table 22" and "Table 23" descriptions under those tables, because these won't make any sense when the text is transcribed into IANA's registry. E [Senthil] I am not sure I understand why, because in section 8.1, for natInstanceI, internalAddressRealm, externalAddressRealm we have this format of name/description/data type and references. Why is natLimitEvent and natThresholdEvent different just because they have their values defined?
8.2. Modified Information Elements / natEvent -> Again, you can't modify the definitions of the existing values. [Senthil] Is there a process on how to modify/deprecate the previously defined values and replace it with new ones?
Thanks
Senthil
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