RE: Gen-ART LC review for draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-wson-encode-27

[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

 



Hi Peter,

Thanks for your thorough review. I accept all your comments. Please see in-line for my response for some selected items that need some explanation.

Let me know if you have any question.

Best regards,
Young

-----Original Message-----
From: Peter Yee [mailto:peter@xxxxxxxxxx] 
Sent: Thursday, February 19, 2015 11:45 PM
To: draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-wson-encode.all@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Cc: gen-art@xxxxxxxx; ietf@xxxxxxxx
Subject: Gen-ART LC review for draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-wson-encode-27

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-wson-encode-27
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: Feb-19-2015
IETF LC End Date: Feb-19-2015
IESG Telechat date: TBD

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication as a Standards Track RFC, but has some nits that should be fixed before publication. [Ready with nits.]

The draft specifies the encoding of information elements necessary for WSON switching.  I've no real issues with the document other than some (mostly) unimportant nits.

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits:

General:

There are a few occurrences of "i.e. XYZ" (that is, "i.e." followed by a space and something (XYZ)).  Insert a comma before the space, which should be easy with a general search-and-replace operation.

When a number of bits is used as an adjective, hyphenate the number and the word "bit".  For example, "64-bit OIC field" instead of "64 bit OIC field"

There are a number of definitions of the form "W: take values S (short-haul), L (long-haul)".  "Take" should be replaced with "takes" for all of these definitions.  These are found in sections 4.1.x.

I find the use of "information element", "field", and "subfield" a bit confusing as they are used somewhat interchangeably and without great consistency.  That said, I don't think the current usage will harm implementations.

YOUNG>> I will look at the document and see if "field" can be used in all cases.

Is there any requirement to specify how values are encoded in bit fields?  I wasn't sure if things were done in network order or if anything different from ITU specifications applied.  If there's any ambiguity, specify the encoding explicitly.

YOUNG>> All the values in Section 4 are encoded according to ITU-T specs. I don't think there is any ambiguity here. If there is anything different from ITU-T, this would need to be resolved first. 

Replace all uses of "parenthesis" with "parentheses".

Specific:

Page 1: The abstract should appear before the status of the memo.  RFC 7322 strongly recommends this ordering be maintained.

Page 2, Abstract, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: change "WSON specific" to "WSON-specific".

Page 4, section 1.1: change "Resources Blocks" to "Resource Blocks".

Page 5, section 2.1, 2nd paragraph: change the "a" before "RB" to "an".

Page 6, Usage Note (last paragraph before section 3): change "advantages" to "advantageous".

Page 6, last sentence: append "field" after "Resource Accessibility".  See the discussion of the term "field" in the General Nits section as well.

Page 7, last paragraph: delete the initial "The".

Page 8, section 3.2, 1st sentence: delete "a".

Page 8, definitions of "I", "O", and "B": for clarity, it might be helpful to outright specify that the value 1 signals presence and 0 signals absence.
That will remove any minor ambiguity here.

Page 10, last paragraph, 1st sentence: change "used" to "use".

Page 11, section 3.4, 1st sentence: change "Resources" to "Resource".

Page 13, 2nd paragraph after the figure: change "indicated" to "conveyed".

Page 13, definitions of "I", "O", and B":  consider rewriting the definitions like this for readability:

	I = 1 indicates that the resource blocks identified in the RB set field utilized a shared fiber for input access and I = 0 indicates otherwise.

YOUNG>> Good suggestion. Will be added (I think your comment on page 8 would be satisfied with this change in Page 8 as well).


Page 13, last paragraph, last sentence: insert "the" before "following format".

Page 14, last sentence: delete "list of" and append "List" after "Optical Interface Class".

Page 15, 1st sentence after the I/O values table: insert "the" before "input/output".

Page 15, following sentence: change "Format" to "format".

Page 15, last sentence: change "semantic" to "semantics".

Page 16, S=0 definition: replace "non " with "non-".

Page 16, 1st sentence after S=x values: change "values" to "value".  (Only one value is given.)

Page 16, last paragraph before section 4.1.1: insert "the" before "case".
Change "Code" to "Codes".  Delete "number".

Page 16, section 4.1.1, B definition: change "Bidirectionals" to "Bidirectional" (singular).  ITU-G.698.1 doesn't use the term "Bidirectionals" and the singular usage seems appropriate.

Page 17, t definition: delete "take".  Append "the" after "only".

Page 17, F flag definition: change "not" to "absence".

Page 17, c definition: insert "the" before "same".  Append "as" after "definition".  Replace "apply" with "applies".

Page 18, last sentence before section 4.1.2: change "code," to "code;".

Page 19, c definition: the same corrections as the Page 17 c definition apply here as well.

Page 19, F definition: change "Fec" to "FEC".

Page 21, fragment before the suffix bit map: rewrite as "suffix is a 6-bit bit map".  Consider changing "bit map" to "bitmap" as that compound word is widely accepted.

Page 22, 2nd sentence: change "prefixed" to "prefixes".

Page 22, t definition: change "values" to "value".

Page 22, last paragraph, 1st sentence: change "one" to "ones".

Page 23, p definition: put the equal sign before "1".

Page 23, suffix fragment: make the same change as given for page 21.

Page 24, section 4.3, 1st sentence: change "rate" to "rates".  Change "types" to "type".

Page 24, section 4.3, 2nd sentence: change "Rate" to "Rates".  Change "G-PID" to "G-PIDs".

Page 25, 1st sentence after the figure: append "754" after "IEEE".

Page 25, section 4.4: the 1st two sentences are somewhat redundant to each other and contradictory (is it a field or a subfield?).  Choose one and delete the other.

Page 25, 1st sentence after the numbered list: change "Specific" to "specific".  Or change "vendor" to "Vendor".  

Page 26, 1st sentence after the figure: insert "the" before "T".

Page 26, 1st sentence after the list of T values: insert "the" before "C".
Insert "the" before "regenerator".

Page 26, C=2 definition: change "Point" to "Pools".  (If you only make one change in the document, it should be this one as it is technical.)

Page 26, last paragraph, 1st sentence: insert "the" before "regenerator".

Page 27, section 5, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: delete the comma after "with".

Page 27, section 6, 2nd sentence: put the period outside of the closing quotation mark.  I don't think you're looking for an IANA registry with a period in its name.

Page 29, 1st paragraph: change "know" to "known".

Page 32, 1st sentence: change "port to port" to "port-to-port".

Page 32, last sentence: append a comma after "transmitters".








[Index of Archives]     [IETF Annoucements]     [IETF]     [IP Storage]     [Yosemite News]     [Linux SCTP]     [Linux Newbies]     [Fedora Users]