I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq> Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. Document: draft-ietf-v6ops-ipv6-roaming-analysis-06 Reviewer: Peter Yee Review Date: October-14-2014 IETF LC End Date: September-29-2014 IESG Telechat date: October-16-2014 Summary: This draft is ready with issues for publication as an Informational RFC. [Ready with issues] This draft discusses some of the issues that may occur when a mobile device roams on a visited network and attempts to use IPv6. The technical meat of the draft is fine, but the language usage makes it difficult to read through without extra effort and reflection. I'm not a 3GPP expert by any stretch of the imagination, so I can't tell if the analysis made is sufficiently comprehensive, but it appears to cover all of the IPv4/IPv6 combinations and home/local breakout uses cases. The following corrections appeared in my -05 review and have not been addressed. I have not updated the page numbers to match any border cases that might have moved one way or another, but the section numbers should be correct. Minor issues: General: There are a lot of definite (the) and indefinite articles (a/an) missing in the draft. This makes it really difficult to read and interpret what is meant. In some cases, the plural form would also make sense, so it's hard to know how to interpret the sentence. I hate to say it, but please look carefully at pretty much any acronym/initialism and the common nouns. Make a determination if an article is appropriate. I started to mark these items in the document while doing my review but became bogged down by the sheer number of missing and in a few cases superfluous articles. I do understand that English may not be a primary language for several of the authors and appreciate your indulgence in trying to make the document more readable and therefore more useful. Nits: General: Separate references from the preceding text with a space, again for readability. I'll leave the Oxford/Harvard/serial comma alone for this review -- the first general nit will take enough time to straighten out! Specific: Page 3, 4th bullet item, 2nd sentence: omit the commas. Page 10, Section 4.2, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: I don't think the word risky is what you mean. More like guaranteed, right? Page 12, Section 5.2, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: change "to" to "on". Page 12, Section 5.2, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: insert "the" before "local". Page 12, Section 5.2, 4th paragraph, 1st sentence: delete "the" before "local". (This correction was misapplied to paragraph 3 in the -06 draft, so I'm fixing it with the previous nit and leaving this one in place.) Page 14, Section 7, 2nd paragraph, 4th sentence: I'm simply having troubles parsing this sentence. Please rewrite for clarity. (Sorry, this one is still an issue.) Page 15, 2nd bullet item, 2nd sentence: insert "a" before "AAA".