Re: Gen-ART LC Review of draft-ietf-hip-bone-06

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Hi Ben,

Thanks for the review! Comments inline.

On 06/11/2010 09:51 PM, Ben Campbell wrote:
Summary: Ready for publication as an experimental RFC. I have a few
minor editorial comments that I think should be considered in any
remaining edits, but should not block publication.

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:

-- General:

IDNITS turns up some outdated references and boilerplate questions.
Please check.

OK, these should be fixed when we run the draft through xml2rfc next time.

-- Section 1, paragraph 2: "HIP BONE,"

Please expand on first mention

-- Section 1, last paragraph

I'm not sure we can assume the reader knows what you mean by
"customary sections."

-- 3.2.2, para 3, last sentence: "Given that each operation requires
the attacker to generate a new key pair, the attack is completely
impractical"

It would be better to avoid hyperbole when describing the
practicality of an attack. Perhaps something to the effect of
"impractical with current technology and techniques"?

-- 3.4, 2nd paragraph, last sentence: "with such straightforward
approach."

Missing article

-- 5.1, paragraph 2: "The enrollment server of an overlay that were
to use HITs derived from public keys as Node IDs could just authorize
users to use the public keys and HITs associated to their nodes."

I have trouble parsing the first part of the sentence, around "that
were to use".

-- 5.3, paragraph 1:"Nodes in an overlay need to establish connection
with other nodes"

Connections (singular/plural mismatch)

-- 5.5, paragraph before last bullet list: "It is assumed that areas
not covered by a particular HIP BONE instance specification are
specified by the peer protocol or elsewhere."

This seems more a requirement than an assumption.

We'll fix/rephrase these.

-- 6.1:"[ TBD by IANA; 980 ]"

Does this mean IANA has already picked the number? Or is it a
recommended number? (Pattern repeats for other registrations)

It's a recommended number. Most of the IANA assigned numbers in HIP are not given sequentially, so it makes sense to propose a sensible value for IANA.


Cheers,
Ari
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