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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background
on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Please resolve these comments along with any other Last
Call comments you may receive. Document:
draft-ietf-nsis-applicability-mobility-signaling-17 Reviewer: Roni Even Review Date: IETF LC End Date: 2010-06-17 IESG Telechat date: (if known) Summary: This draft where type is Informational is on the
right track but has open issues, described in the review. Major issues: Minor issues: 1. Section 6 says that topics is this section are out-of-scope of
this document and detailed operations are not described yet section 6.1.1
provide what looks like detailed operations. 2. I am not sure what is the value in appendix A, it looks to me
redundant after reading the rest of the document Nits/editorial comments: 1. All over the document there are abbreviations that are not
specified in full or not specified the first time used. Examples are MRI, MN,
CN, AR. NR, SII, HA, FA, QNE, QSPEC,RSN… I suggest that the editor will go
through the document and specify all abbreviations. 2. In section 4.2 and 4.3 in the beginning instead of the following
figure suggest to write Figure 1 or Figure 2. I also think that the flow
description should be enumerated using the numbers from figure 1. 3. In section 4.2 “the MN must get to know” maybe say “The MN need
to acquire” 4. In section 5.3.1 “The second one is otherwise, and here the
tunneling path is transparent as a logical link to NSIS signaling
[draft-ietf-nsis-tunnel].”. I am not sure what is meant by “the second one is
otherwise”. 5.
In section 6.1.1 there is a
figure without a number. There are figure 8 and 9 and in the middle this one
with no number. 6.
In section 4.4.2 in the
sentence “(how this is can be noticed is out of scope of NSIS, yet,
e.g., GIST will eventually no this through undelivered messages)” should be
“know” and not "no". |
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