Reviewer: Peter Yee Review result: Ready with Nits I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <https://wiki.ietf.org/en/group/gen/GenArtFAQ>. Document: draft-ietf-cdni-capacity-insights-extensions-06 Reviewer: Peter Yee Review Date: 2024-06-17 IETF LC End Date: 2024-06-17 IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat Summary: This specification adds a couple of extensions to upstream and downstream CDNs to convey capacity limits and telemetry data related to those limits. It seems relatively uncomplicated, but there are some nits that should be cleaned up prior to publication. [Ready with nits] Major issues: None Minor issues: None Nits/editorial comments: General: Capitalization varies throughout the document. Sometimes telemetry is capitalized. Other times it is not, and I’m not talking about in the names of objects. I’d suggest lower case would be sensible unless telemetry is a very specific term when used in the CDNI context. A search of RFCs 8006 and 8008 don’t show this to be the case. The word “object” when used in the context of an object name is inconsistently capitalized, outside of title case in section headers. Choose one capitalization for the word and use it consistently. In at least the text version, the header cuts off the name of the document after the “E” in “Extensions”. I don’t know if there’s anything you can do about that, however. Specific: Page 1, Abstract, 1st paragraph: expand the initialism “CDNI” as this is its first use. Also do so for “uCDN” and “dCDN”. The reason is that the abstract will be made available separately from the document body, so there’s no opportunity to search in the body for the meaning of these acronyms. Page 1, Abstract, 2nd paragraph: expand the initialism “FCI” for the same reason. Page 4, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: insert “that” before “may”. Page 4, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence: change “long lived” to “long-lived”. Page 5, 1st paragraph, last sentence: change “dCDN provided” to “dCDN-provided”. Page 6, section 2.1.1.1, 2nd sentence: change “to allow for to reference a to another” to “to allow for referencing another” or “to allow for reference to another”. Page 7, Table 1, Description: change “datasources” to “data sources”. Page 7, “time-granularity” description, 2nd sentence: change “e.g.” to “E.g.”. Page 10, “current” description, last sentence: the reference for Telemetry Source Object would seem to be section 2.1.1, not section 2.2.1.2. And place the word “section” and whatever section number you decide upon inside parentheses. Page 11, section 2.2.1.2, “metric” description: change “an” to “a” before “Telemetry Capability”. Page 13, section 3.1.2, Purpose: delete “a” before “utilization”. Page 15, Authors’ Addresses: in the text version, the state is separated from the city for some reason. In all other versions, there’s an excess space after the city name but before the comma before the state abbreviation. I do not know if there’s anything you can do to correct this as I do know the cause of the disparate output forms. -- last-call mailing list -- last-call@xxxxxxxx To unsubscribe send an email to last-call-leave@xxxxxxxx
