Reviewer: Susan Hares Review result: Ready with Issues I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <https://wiki.ietf.org/en/group/gen/GenArtFAQ>. Document: draft-halpern-gendispatch-antitrust-?? Reviewer: Susan Hares Review Date: 2024-06-12 IETF LC End Date: 2024-06-14 IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat Summary: Excellent work. My suggestions are editorial Major issues:none Minor issues: 1. All quotes in sections 2-4 should have specific references to the sections in the documents. why: In this document, I suspect IETF people will want to know the sections. Nits/editorial comments: 1. section 2.2, Ident quotes for clarity Old text:/ The U.S. Department of Justice says [DOJ] that “the goal of the antitrust laws is to protect economic freedom and opportunity by promoting free and fair competition in the marketplace. Competition in a free market benefits consumers through lower prices, better quality and greater choice. Competition provides businesses the opportunity to compete on price and quality, in an open market and on a level playing field, unhampered by anticompetitive restraints.” Similarly, the European Commission [EC] states that the purpose of its competition law rules is "to make EU markets work better, by ensuring that all companies compete equally and fairly on their merits" which "benefits consumers, businesses and the European economy as a whole."/ indent quotes will clearly specify what US and EC states. Also, provide references to quotes for sections. #2, Section 2.3, first bullet point, Editorial Old text:/ * Most acutely, the IETF cannot have anyone who is officially representing the IETF, in any capacity, engage in problematic antitrust behavior and create liability for the IETF./ editorial suggestion: "Most acutely" is not needed and confuses the sentence. 2. section 2.3, rework bullet point 2 old text:/ * Additionally, the IETF cannot be a forum where participants engage in problematic antitrust behavior, even if direct liability for that behavior falls on those participants and not the IETF, to avoid reputational harm to the IETF./ new text:/ * The IETF cannot be a forum where participants engage in problematic antitrust behavior, even if direct liability for that behavior falls on those participants and not the IETF. Problematic behavior could cause reputational harm to the IETF so it must be avoided. / 3. Section 3, paragraph 1, grammar/clarity IMHO, i think you can remove a comma to make it clearer. old text:/ Compliance with the BCPs and other relevant policies that document the established rules and norms of the IETF, facilitates compliance with antitrust law, as the IETF structure and processes are designed to mitigate antitrust risks. / New text:/ Compliance with the BCPs and other relevant policies that document the established rules and norms of the IETF facilitates compliance with antitrust law, as the IETF structure and processes are designed to mitigate antitrust risks. / #4: Section 3, bullet item 4, editorial, Joel: I find the ";" in the sentence below confuses the focus of the sentence. Current text: / * The IETF's intellectual property rights policies as set forth in BCP 78 [BCP78] and BCP 79 [BCP79]; these policies are carefully designed to "benefit the Internet community and the public at large, while respecting the legitimate rights of others."/ New text (suggestion:/ * The IETF's intellectual property rights policies as set forth in BCP 78 [BCP78] and BCP 79 [BCP79]. These IETF policies are carefully designed to "benefit the Internet community and the public at large while respecting the legitimate rights of others."/ #5, section 3, item 5, Split sentence Old text:/ * The established conflict of interest policies, such as the IESG Conflict of Interest Policy, the IAB Conflict of Interest Policy or the IETF LLC Conflict of Interest Policy, if and when applicable./ New text:/ * The IETF establishes conflict of interest policies, such as the IESG Conflict of Interest Policy, the IAB Conflict of Interest Policy or the IETF LLC Conflict of Interest Policy. These IETF policies specify if and when the policies are applicable./ #6, section 4, punctuation old text:/ * Certain topics that are generally inappropriate for discussion in a standards setting environment * The importance of participants obtaining independent legal advice, as appropriate * Paths to escalate antitrust-related concerns/ New text:/ * Certain topics that are generally inappropriate for discussion in a standards-setting environment, * The importance of participants obtaining independent legal advice, as appropriate, and * Paths to escalate antitrust-related concerns, / Another alternative to commas is the use of ";". -- last-call mailing list -- last-call@xxxxxxxx To unsubscribe send an email to last-call-leave@xxxxxxxx
