Elwyn, thank you for your review. I have entered a No Objection ballot for this document. Lars > On Sep 11, 2023, at 01:47, Elwyn Davies via Datatracker <noreply@xxxxxxxx> wrote: > > Reviewer: Elwyn Davies > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://wiki.ietf.org/en/group/gen/GenArtFAQ>. > > Document: draft-ietf-lamps-nf-eku-02 > Reviewer: Elwyn Davies > Review Date: 2023-09-10 > IETF LC End Date: 2023-09-08 > IESG Telechat date: 2023-09-21 > > Summary: Ready with a number of nits. > > Major issues: > None > > Minor issues: > None > > Nits/editorial comments: > Abstract and s1: It would be useful to provide a reference to 3GPP document TS > 23.501 with a pointer to Section 6 which defines what the Network Functions are > both at the end of the Abstract and in the first para of s1. > > s1, 1st bullet: Should '5GC Service Based Architecture' be '5G Core Service > Based Architecture'? > > s1, 2nd bullet: I suggest s/is JSON Web Tokens and is/uses JSON Web Tokens > which are/ > > s1. para 6 after bullets: This starts >> [RFC5280] specifies several extended key purpose identifiers (EKU), >> defined via KeyPurposeIds, for X.509 certificates. > Using the abbreviation EKU at this point is premature (it is defined in para 8) > and IMO confusing. I suggest: > >> [RFC5280] specifies several key usage extensions, >> defined via KeyPurposeIds, for X.509 certificates. Key usage extensions > added to a certificate are > meant to express intent as to the purpose of the > named usage, for humans and for complying libraries. s1, para 7: s/a NF who > generates/a NF which generates/ [It's a function not a person.] > > s1, para 8: s/However, there is currently no KeyPurposeIds/However, there are > currently no KeyPurposeIds/ > > s3, para 2: s/EKU extention/EKU extension/, s/require the keyUsage > extension/require the KeyUsage extension/ > > s4, para after bullet 3 and s5: The abbreviation KU on its own has not been > defined and is not used elsewhere: s/KU/KeyUsage/ (two places) > > s7: s/ The inclusion of EKU/The inclusion of the EKU/ > > s8, para 1: s/This OID/These OIDs/ > > s8: You could add references linking to the two registries referred to in this > section. > > > > -- > last-call mailing list > last-call@xxxxxxxx > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/last-call
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