Hi Ron,
Thanks for your review and comments.
Please see zzh> below.
Juniper Business Use Only
-----Original Message-----
From: Ron Bonica via Datatracker <noreply@xxxxxxxx>
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2023 3:54 PM
To: rtg-dir@xxxxxxxx
Cc: bier@xxxxxxxx; draft-ietf-bier-evpn.all@xxxxxxxx; last-call@xxxxxxxx
Subject: Rtgdir last call review of draft-ietf-bier-evpn-08
[External Email. Be cautious of content]
Reviewer: Ron Bonica
Review result: Has Nits
This draft is ready for publication, but has a few NITS:
The draft includes more than a few grammatical errors. I will not call out each. Please run a grammar checker over it.
Zzh> I pasted the text into Word and it flagged a few and I fixed them.
Zzh> What tool do you normally use? I want to make sure I fixed all (especially the grammar ones besides the typos).
Section 2:
"Tunnel Type". The same codepoint 0x0B that IANA has assigned for [RFC8556] for the new tunnel type "BIER" is used for EVPN as well."
This sentence needs to be reworked (e.g., for [RFC8556] for)
Zzh> Would the following work?
* "Tunnel Type". The same codepoint 0x0B that IANA has assigned for
BIER for MVPN [RFC8556] is used for EVPN as well.
""Tunnel Identifier". When the "tunnel type" field is "BIER", this
field contains two subfields. The text below is exactly as in
[RFC8556]."
When is the tunnel type not "BIER"?
Zzh> The tunnel type could be others like P2MP, PIM, etc.. But this document is for BIER - I changed the text to the following:
* "Tunnel Identifier". This field contains three subfields for
BIER. The text below is exactly as in [RFC8556].
Two subfields or three?
Zzh> Three +2D3eCg
6. Security Considerations
How do you know that this protocol does not introduce new security consideration. If you don't tell me how, I will just have to take your word for it. One or two sentences explaining how you came to this conclusion might help.
Zzh> How about the following?
This document is about using BIER as provider tunnel for EVPN, and it
is very similar to using BIER as MVPN provider tunnel. Therefore, it
does not introduce additional security implications beyond what have
been discussed in EVPN base protocol specification [RFC7432] and MVPN
using BIER [RFC8556].
Thanks!
Jeffrey
--
last-call mailing list
last-call@xxxxxxxx
https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/last-call
