Hi Donald,
Many thanks for your review. Please see my responses inline.
Thanks,
Jensen
On Sat, Nov 27, 2021 at 10:19 AM Donald Eastlake via Datatracker <noreply@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
Reviewer: Donald Eastlake
Review result: Ready with Issues
I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-17. These comments were written
primarily for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and
shepherd should treat these comments just like they would treat comments from
any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with any other Last Call
comments that have been received. For more details on the INT Directorate, see
https://datatracker.ietf.org/group/intdir/about/.
Based on my review, if I was on the IESG I would ballot this document as NO
OBJECTION.
The following are issues I found with this document that SHOULD be corrected
before publication and some comments:
I am not particularly familiar with the technology in this draft os I may
have missed things.
Abstract: I believe it should say "the exact protocol is not specified"
adding "not".
Thanks for the catch. We will fix it.
Section 3.7.1: The second paragraph of this section is one very long
sentence that I found confusing and which may be inconsistent. Perhaps a
structured list would be better than simple text.
Good suggestion. How about the following restructure:
OLD:
Specifically, the IRD announces two network maps, one CDNI
Advertisement resource without dependency, one CDNI Advertisement
resource depending on a network map, one filtered CDNI Advertisement
resource to be defined in Section 5, one property map including
"cdni-capabilities" as its entity property, one filtered property map
including "cdni-capabilities" and "pid" as its entity properties, and
two update stream services (one for updating CDNI Advertisement
resources, and the other for updating property maps).
Advertisement resource without dependency, one CDNI Advertisement
resource depending on a network map, one filtered CDNI Advertisement
resource to be defined in Section 5, one property map including
"cdni-capabilities" as its entity property, one filtered property map
including "cdni-capabilities" and "pid" as its entity properties, and
two update stream services (one for updating CDNI Advertisement
resources, and the other for updating property maps).
NEW:
Specifically, the IRD announces nine information resources as follows:
* two network maps
* one CDNI Advertisement resource without dependency
* one CDNI Advertisement resource depending on a network map
* one filtered CDNI Advertisement resource to be defined in Section 5
* one property map including "cdni-capabilities" as its entity property
* one filtered property map including "cdni-capabilities" and "pid" as its entity properties
* two update stream services
+ one for updating CDNI Advertisement resources
+ one for updating property maps
Section 6.1.1.2: Seems a bit imprecise. I suggest adding at the end "as a
decimal number without leading zeros".
Very good suggestion. We will add it.
I was favorably impressed by the relatively complete information included
for the Authors in the Authors' Addresses Section. I wish more drafts did
this.
Thanks ;)
The following are minor issues (typos, misspelling, minor text improvements)
with the document:
PID should be expanded on first use. Although, as far as I can see, other
acronyms are appropriately expanded on first use. the document might benefit
from a terminology section (maybe 1.1 or 2.3) as not everyone may read the
document sequentially and remember all the expansions.
Reasonable suggestion. We will add such a section in the coming revision soon.
Section 2.2, 2nd *'ed paragraph, "ALTO maps can be signed" adding "be".
Thanks for the catch.
Section 3.6: I don't think the following text is needed and it could be
deleted. It merely expresses the default that later IETF documents can
modify earlier IETF documents.
There may be other
documents extending BaseAdvertisementObject and additional CDNI
capabilities. They are outside the scope of this document. To
support them, future documents can extend the specification defined
in this document.
Agree.
Section 3.7.1: /// -> //
Section 6.2.1: "to define" -> "defining"
Thanks. Will fix.
Section 10: It is common to include the same information for Contributors as
is included for Authors in the Authors' Addresses section but that has not
been done.
Good catch. We will definitely fix this issue. We were using kramdown-rfc2629, which seems not to support the Contributors section yet. But it should work by embedding XML manually.
There are a few addition suggestions that I will send directly to the
authors.
Really trivial: when you have
"xyz": stuff
for various values of xyz and stuff, there is no consistency in whether or not
there is a space before the colon.
Ha, you are right. We will fix this trivial issue.
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