Re: IESG Statement On Oppressive or Exclusionary Language

[Eliot Lear <lear=40cisco.com@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hi Richard,

I would just like to push back on the idea of there being a dichotomy here.  There is a lot of room for feedback and even dissent that is not toxic.

Yes.

 

For me where the "toxic" line is crossed is when folks start to invalidate the experiences of others.  We've seen this in other venues, notably in the RFC series discussion.  A newcomer says "This is hard for me" or "This doesn't meet my needs" and hears back "It's not hard" or "It meets my needs just fine".. 

That’s well put, but we also tend to project what we think is hard, and end up in endless debates about that.  We need to allow for some of that but we also need to allow for pushback in those circumstances.  And even when there is a person who is offended, we have to ask whether that offense is reasonable.  We have seen that as well over the years.  This may seem invalidating but that is why we don’t make decisions based on the views of single individuals.  Having that discussion respectfully and courteously of course is always in order.

Eliot