I'm from Allegheny too, but I figured I could help here anyway... especially as someone who understands close to nothing about Fedora.
I read the press release and I think it is good!
My suggestions:
- It might be good to provide a brief description of Linux. I have no idea how to define Linux and I have a feeling there are some other people who don't know either.
-I think you could go into a bit more detail about describing what exactly Fedora is, in the opening paragraph.
-In the desktop user section, I don't understand why the printer example is used. Is it just an example of the sorts of things Fedora can do?
-I like the Spin section! It makes sense!
- In Help make Fedora! - be a bit more encouraging - a lot of Fedora is not just getting people excited about using Fedora, but getting people excited about being involved in the Fedora community, right?
I hope this helps. If you want to talk in real life, that would be fine. I would not be opposed to joining your team, if you are in need of another team member.
Again, good job
Adrienne
On Thu, Apr 15, 2010 at 7:21 PM, Tyler Torbet <torbett@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Tonight, Dan, Ashley, Sarah, Mel and I worked with our first draft of the release notes. We reworded many of the sections and added several new points. As you can tell, this is still a work in progress so any comments or edits are welcome!Here is the wiki page after working on it tonight:
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