On Sat, 2009-05-30 at 10:07 +0200, Max Spevack wrote: > I like it. It makes me smile, and not much does. > > Minor suggestions: > > (1) Change Dr. Brattlesworth to some sort of pun on a Fedora name? > Unless Brattlesworth has some other meaning that I simply don't get. Anyone have any suggestions? > (2) I read "snares, toils, and dangers" as "snares, trolls, and dangers" > at first, which might be funnier! I didn't make this change only because "trolls" doesn't seem to fit BUT I'm not against making the change because I think it would be funnier. Opinions? > (3) "that marvelous creature -- Leonidas" -- perhaps "the Leonidas"? Changed. > > (4) If (3), then s/Leonidas/the Leonidas/ everywhere appropriate Done > > (5) I believe people adjourn to the "parlour" for cigars and brandy, not > the "sitting room". :) Yeah... done. > > Good stuff. > > --Max > I've also made changes based on Murray's email. -- Eric
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