You see, editing *is* a constant process! This is the last go round and I promise I won't do this again. Sorry all. On Fri, 2005-05-13 at 08:27 -0400, Paul W. Frields wrote: > > "For each service listed, the Service Configuration utility will display > > a short description, and the current status and process ID (PID) of the > > service, if it is running." > > That should be: > > "For each service listed, the Service Configuration displays a short > description, and the current status and process ID (PID) of the service, > if it is running." > > Another style rule: Use present tense! :-) The narrative should also describe the tool as it actually works. The SC tool doesn't display the descriptions unless you actually *select* a service. (I also made a typo and omitted a word.) Since the sentence would then be getting a little too long, it needs to be split, and in doing so, let's eliminate that gerund at the end too. By using an adjective instead, we can even improve the sentence flow to emphasize what the utility shows the reader. Remember that the end of a sentence is where the most "kinetic energy" is stored -- a phrase placed there has more "oomph" potential. Try this: "When you select a service, the Service Configuration utility displays a short description. If the service is active, the utility also displays the current status and process ID (PID)." All right, no more replies to myself on list. I'll just slap myself in the face quietly if I catch anything else wrong. :-) -- Paul W. Frields, RHCE http://paul.frields.org/ gpg fingerprint: 3DA6 A0AC 6D58 FEC4 0233 5906 ACDB C937 BD11 3717 Fedora Documentation Project: http://fedora.redhat.com/projects/docs/
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