Cute Baha A rewrite of an old one "Retire Aged Personnel Early" Saw it about 30 years ago. L:ike the variant though Al ----- Original Message ----- From: "Bahadir Acuner" <bahadiracuner@xxxxxxxxx> To: <AIRLINE@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> Sent: Wednesday, December 01, 2004 2:13 AM Subject: Memo from management > MEMO > > THE EARLY RETIREMENT SCHEME FOR PILOTS > > Due to financial situation that our airline finds > itself in after the tragic events of 9/11, the > management has decided to implement a scheme to put > all pilots over 50 on early retirement. > > This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Airline > Pilots Early). > > Pilots selected to be RAPED can apply to the > management to be eligible for the SHAFT (Special Help > AFTer retirement). Pilots who have been RAPED and > SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme > (SCheme for Retired Early Workers). Pilots may be > RAPED only once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many > times as management deems appropriate. > > Pilots who have been raped can apply to get AIDS > (Aircrew Income for Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES > (Half Earnings for Retired Pilots on Early Severance). > Obviously pilots who have AIDS or HERPES will not be > SCREWED any further by management. > > Pilots staying on will receive as much **** (Simulator > High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has > always prided itself on the amount of **** it gives > its crews. Should you feel that you do not receive > enough **** please bring it to the attention of the > Chief Pilot. He has been trained to give you all the > **** you can handle. > > Thank you and Happy Landings. > > > Kind regards, > Management > > > > BAHA ACUNER > Enterprise Planning and Data Management Team > Ph: (253) 924-4904 > Fax: (253) 924-7763 > > "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with > your > eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always > long > to return." -- Leonardo da Vinci >