Some old and a couple I never heard before--like the first one Dennis TRUE PILOT STORIES: > > Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" > Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" > > ********************************************************** >> One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short > of the runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned > around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. >> Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, > "What a cute little plane. Did you make it yourself?" >> Our hero the Cherokee pilot, was not about to let the insult go by, came > back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one." > > ************************************************************** > > There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing > because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." ATC=20 =A0=A0 told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had=20 =A0=A0 one engine shut down. > "Ah," the pilot remarked," the dreaded seven-engine approach." > > **************************************************************** > > A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting > to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known > position?" >> Student: "When I was number one for take-off". > > ****************************************************************** > > Taxiing down the tarmac, the DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and > returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A > concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" > "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the > flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot." > > ****************************************! **! ******************** > > A man telephoned the United airline office at Denver International Airport > and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Colorado Springs?" >> The clerk said, "Just a minute." (my favorite) >> "Thank you," the man said and hung up. > > **************************************************************** > > "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." >> "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" >> "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" > > **************************************************************** > > The passenger piled his cases on the scale at the United counter in New > York and said to the clerk, "I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the square > case to go to Denver, and the two round ones to go to Seattle." >> "I'm sorry, sir, but we can't do that." >> "Why not? You did it the last time. >