This was posted in an aviation board. Thought that I 'd share it with you... "USAIRWAYS ANNOUNCES NON-STOP SERVICE TO BANKRUPTCY Arlington, VA. - USAirways Group (U) today announced new non-stop service to bankruptcy in continuing effort to compete with other airlines flying East Coast routes. "We're definitely excited," cited an anonymous USAirways executive, "we feel with this new nonstop service, our passengers will enjoy a greater flying experience whether it be with United, Southwest, jetBlue, or even their local taxi cab companies." In what is being viewed as an "aggressive move" by Wall Street analysts, USAirways has announced cancellation of all flights to Florida. "With the airplanes being constantly full with passengers, our expenses are out of control." said one USAirways representative. " By canceling all of these flights, we will save an estimated $42.00 PER DAY by not using as many trash bags, Attache magazines, and coffee stirrers. We will now begin flying 35 daily nonstop flights from Philadelphia's Terminal B to Philadelphia's Terminal A. Our first class passengers on board these flights will be given complimentary wetnaps and seatbelts." In another surprise move, USAirways announced it will paint a new livery on each airplane of its fleet within the next 2 years. The traditional "USAirways American flag" will now be replaced with a "white flag" symbolizing a total surrender to other airlines. "We also have a design team working on a paint scheme that will be painted all along our fuselage. It will be a picture of 40-60 USAirways pilots standing shoulder-to-shoulder in solidarity...in the unemployment line, which has long been our tradition here at USAirways." Brent Davis, a 15 year USAirways pilot, agrees. "I was hired in 1987 and since then I have seen the bad times and the good one. The bad times, such as being furloughed 293 times are hard. But the 148 hours of flying that I have done here since 1987 have been wonderful. I'll never forget that day in June of 1990 when we actually turned a profit for the entire day...that was awesome." USAirways also announced they will shift their strategic focus from business travelers to deadheading crewmembers. "With 60 to 90 deadheading crewmembers aboard each aircraft, our 3 or 4 revenue paying passengers will enjoy the added safety of knowing that if all of the 30 or 40 captains become incapacitated, there will still be 5 or 10 more on board able to land the aircraft, provided, of course, that they were not notified via the GTE touchphone on the back of the cabin seats that they were furloughed while enroute." USAirways also will begin service to Chapter 13, with a short layover in Chapter 11.