Shaun.. "Has anyone ever tasted an "END"? Are they really bitter?" EMAIL: shauno at goanna.net.au ICQ: 76958435 YAHOO ID: blindman01_2000 IRC NICK/SERVER: |3|1ndm4n on #aussiefriends on www.jong.com:6667 ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Mon, 21 May 2001 09:18:46 +1100 From: Paul Bailey <Paul_Bailey@xxxxxxxxxx> To: Shaun Oliver <shauno at goanna.net.au> Subject: Warning - really bad jokes !!! I know you wiil like these Ha Ha Subject: Warning - really bad jokes !!! ? Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. ? Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home." ? "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? "It's not unusual." --------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. > > >? "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " > > >? "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" > > >? So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his > > >? teeth. > > >? Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." > > >? "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " > > >? "No, because he's really heavy" > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? Guy goes into the doctor's. > > >? "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside > > >? "How's that?" > > >? "Don't you start" > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > >? Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom! > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? What do you call a fish with no eyes? > > >? A fsh. > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there > > >? are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's > > >? either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger > > >? brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin. > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you > > >? give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your > > >? oyster, go for it.' > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "your round." > > >? The other one says "so are you, you fat bast**d!" > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the > > >? other "Does this taste funny to you?" > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? Two prostitutes standing on a street corner. > > >? One says to the other, "have you ever been picked up by the > > >? fuzz?" > > >? The other replies, "No, but I've been swung around by the boobs!" > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was > > >? drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. > > >? They charged one and let the other one off. > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. > > >? They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' > > >? So that was nice." > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? A man walked into the doctors, he said "I've hurt my arm in several > > >? places" > > >? The doctor said "well don't go there any more" > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? My dog was really barking at everyone the other day. Still, what > > >? can you expect from a cross-breed. > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? I went to buy some camoflage trousers the other day but I > > >? couldn't find any. > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > >? I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid > > >? that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he > > >? said, 'no, the steaks are too high.' > > > > > > > > > > > > > > This electronic message and any attachments are supplied in good faith. > Q-Build accepts no responsibility for the damage or loss which may occur > through the use or transmission of this message and attachments. The > contents of this electronic message and any attachments are intended only > for the addressee and may contain privileged or confidential information. > If you are not the addressee, you are notified that any transmission, > distribution, downloading, printing or photocopying of the contents of this > message or attachments is strictly prohibited. The privilege of > confidentiality attached to this message and attachments is not waived, > lost > or destroyed by reason of mistaken delivery to you. If you receive this > message in error please notify the sender by return e-mail or telephone. > > ************************************************************ > Opinions contained in this e-mail do not necessarily reflect > the opinions of the Queensland Department of Main Roads, > Queensland Transport or National Transport Secretariat, or > endorsed organisations utilising the same infrastructure. > If you have received this electronic mail message in error, > please immediately notify the sender and delete the message > from your computer. > ************************************************************
