Hi Roni, Inline ... Thanks, --David > -----Original Message----- > From: detnet <detnet-bounces@xxxxxxxx> On Behalf Of Roni Even via > Datatracker > Sent: Monday, March 9, 2020 10:44 AM > To: gen-art@xxxxxxxx > Cc: last-call@xxxxxxxx; detnet@xxxxxxxx; draft-ietf-detnet-ip.all@xxxxxxxx > Subject: [Detnet] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-detnet-ip-05 > > > [EXTERNAL EMAIL] > > Reviewer: Roni Even > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-detnet-ip-?? > Reviewer: Roni Even > Review Date: 2020-03-09 > IETF LC End Date: 2020-03-13 > IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat > > Summary: The document is ready for publication as a standard track RFC with > nits > > Major issues: > > Minor issues: > > Nits/editorial comments: > > 1. In section 3 the paragraph before the last one " the appropriate DetNet > flow-specific information and ensures that the receives the proper traffic > treatment within the domain", looks to me that it should be "that the flow > receives ..." [David>] That looks like what was intended. > > 2. In section 6 I could not parse the second level bullet "When the DSCP > field is used in flow identification, a list of field values that may be used > by a specific flow." [David>] The text after the comma is intended to describe the management and control information used to identify the flow, referring back to the DSCP field. As I'm responsible for this DSCP list "thorn" in the WG's "side" ;-), here's a suggestion to improve clarity: OLD * If the DSCP field is to be used in flow identification. Ignoring the DSCP filed is optional. * When the DSCP field is used in flow identification, a list of field values that may be used by a specific flow. NEW * Whether or not the DSCP field is used in flow identification. Use of the DSCP field for flow identification is optional. * If the DSCP field is used to identify a flow, then the flow identification information (for that flow) includes a list of DSCPs used by that flow. I took out "that may be used" as including too much detail - that text covers situations where not all of the DSCP values are actually used, e.g., there could be 5 possible DSCP values for a flow, but only 2 of them occur in actual packets. That's not particularly important here, as the logic that determines whether or not a packet is part of that flow has to match on all 5 possible DSCP values. > > > > _______________________________________________ > detnet mailing list > detnet@xxxxxxxx > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/detnet -- last-call mailing list last-call@xxxxxxxx https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/last-call
