Reviewer: Elwyn Davies Review result: Ready with Nits I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router-14 Reviewer: Elwyn Davies Review Date: 2020-02-06 IETF LC End Date: 2020-02-06 IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat Summary: Ready with nits. Major issues: None Minor issues: None Nits/editorial comments: General: s/i.e. /i.e., / (4 places), s/e.g. /e.g.,/ (2 places) Abbreviations: The definition of abbreviations in this document is inconistent. There is a list of abbreviations but it is not complete; many abbreviations are introduced in the text in the usual way and there are some that are not expanded. Please be consistent - a complete list would be helpful, especially as some are used before the abbreviations section. References to Neighbor Solicitation/Advertisement messages: The formats NS(xxxx) and NA(xxxx) are used to refer to various NS/NA messages. Please add an explanation of this convention and a definition of the various messages referred to. Use of Layer-2 and Layer-3: These terms are not normally hyphenated. s1: Term STA used for a 'node': Please expand this abbreviation and possibly explain why it is used (I am unclear how it is derived). s1, para 5: s/Like/In the same way as/ s1, para 5: ID is not a well-known abbreviation - please expand on first use. s1, para 9: Need to expand MAC. s2.2, "Sleeping Proxy": It might be useful to add in " which might be in a sleep state in a low power network". s2.2, "Routing Proxy": Need to expand TLLA. s3, para 1: s/The next/The following/ s3, 2nd set of bullets, bullet #2: s/This includes participating to the solicited-node multicast address/This includes responding to messages addressed tothe solicited-node multicast address/ s3, 2nd set of bullets, bullet #3: Expand NUD on first use (currently expanded twice in sss6 and 8). s3.1: Expand SLLAO on first use. s3.3, para at bottom of page 13 just before Figure 5: s/is a transmitted as a multicast/is transmitted as a multicast / s3.3, last para: s/suggests using RPL/suggests using the RPL routing protocol/ s3.4, last para: s/details/detail/ s3.5, para 1: s/as silently ignored./are silently ignored./ s4, last para: s/the MTU MUST have a same value/the MTU MUST have the same value/ s5, para 2: s/It results that a 6LBR MUST be capable of maintaining a state/Consequently a 6LBR MUST be capable of maintaining state/ s5, para 3: s/ which may be avoided of/ which may be avoided if/ s5, para 5: Expand TLLAO on first use. s9: It would be useful to add a forward ref to s12 where the value of TENTATIVE_DURATION is defined. s9.1: Remove empty second bullet. Titles of ss9.1, 9.2 and 9.3: I Think these should be "Operations on...." s9.2, 1st bullet: s/small timer/timer with a short setting/. Is it possible to recommend any values here or indicate how to assign a suitable value? ss9.2, 9.3: It would be useful to add a forward ref to s12 where the value of STALE_DURATION is defined. -- last-call mailing list last-call@xxxxxxxx https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/last-call
