Excellent, thanks!
On 1/16/20, 5:03 PM, "Michael Richardson" <mcr+ietf@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Tim Evens via Datatracker <noreply@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
Thank you.
> In section 1.2,
> "These slots are rare, and with 10ms
> slots, with a slot-frame length of 100, there may be only 1 slot/s
> for the beacon."
> IMO, this could be reworded to increase clarity. For example, "Considering 10ms
> slots and a slot-frame length of 100, these slots are rare and could result in
> only 1 slot for a beacon."
Reworded as you suggest:
There is a limited number of timeslots designated as a broadcast slot by
each
-router in the network. These slots are rare, and with 10ms slots, with a
slot-frame length of
-100, there may be only 1 slot/s for the beacon.
+router in the network. Considering 10ms slots and a slot-frame length of
100,
+these slots are rare and could result in only 1 slot/s for a broadcast,
which
+needs to be used for the beacon. Additional broadcasts for Router
+Advertisements, or Neighbor Discovery could even more scarce.
> In section 1.3,
> "At layer 3, [RFC4861] defines a mechanism by which nodes learn about
> routers by listening for multicasted Router Advertisements (RA)."
> Would it be possible to reword to not use "multicasted?" For example,
> "by receiving multicast Router Advertisements (RA)."
done.
> "no RA is heard within a set time, then a Router Solicitation (RS) may
> be multicast,"
> "may be sent as multicast" might be more clear.
done.
> In section 2,
> "proxy priority this field indicates the willingness fo the sender to
> act as join proxy. Lower value indicates greater willingness"
> Typo "fo"
fixed.
> IMO, it would be clearer if the field name in the protocol header
> matches the description for it. For example, "Proxy priority (proxy prio)"
okay.
> In Section 4,
> "An interloper with a radio sniffer would be able to use the network
> ID to map out the extend of the mesh network."
> extend or extent?
extent, thank you catching that.
All this in -07 about to be published.
--
Michael Richardson <mcr+IETF@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, Sandelman Software Works
-= IPv6 IoT consulting =-
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