Thank you Elwyn. I have applied both changes to my private copy. I
will submit when the chairs / ADs request.
Yours,
Joel
On 8/14/2019 6:42 PM, Elwyn Davies via Datatracker wrote:
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review result: Ready with Nits
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
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Document: draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2019-08-14
IETF LC End Date: 2019-08-14
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
Summary:
Ready with a couple of nits. The text of para 2 of section 3 refers to an
initial state that is not applicable to the transition which requires this
update. Emphasising continuity seems more appropriate.
Major issues:
None
Minor issues:
None
Nits/editorial comments:
Abstract, last sentence (very picky): Technically, what has been removed from
the text of RFC 5377 are references to the IAOC. Suggest s/IASA/IAOC which was
part of IASA/
s3, para 2, first sentence: The first sentence was applicable to the original
creation of the licence policies and text when responsibility was initially
transferred to the trustees and is inappropriate for the current modification
of the trust organisation. It could probably be safely deleted, or the
continuity could be emphasised by something like... OLD:
The rough consensus described in this document reflects the agreement
of the IETF as of the IETF Last Call, and the Trustees of the IETF
Trust are to begin drafting license text and other materials to act
on these instructions upon IESG approval of this document for RFC
publication.
NEW:
To ensure continuuty, the starting point for license text and other materials
will be that previiysly created by the Trustees of the IETF under the
authority of [RFC5377] which this document supersedes.
ENDS
This requires a reference to RFC 5377.
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