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From: Russ Housley via
Datatracker <
Date: 2019-03-09 13:24 <
To: secdir@xxxxxxxx <
CC: draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration.all;
ietf; regext <
Subject: [regext] Secdir last call review of
draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration-09 <
Reviewer: Russ Housley <
Review result: Has Issues <
I reviewed this document as part of the Security Directorate's
ongoing <
effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.
These <
comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Security
Area <
Directors. Document authors, document editors, and WG chairs
should <
treat these comments just like any other IETF Last Call
comments. <
Document:
draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration-09 <
Reviewer: Russ Housley <
Review Date: 2019-03-09 <
IETF LC End Date: 2019-03-15 < IESG Telechat date: unknown
Thanks for your kind review. <
Summary: Has Issues <
Major Concerns: <
If this document is going to be published on the IETF Stream, then
the < IANA registrations should point to the IESG, not the document authors.
We will update it. IANA registrations will point to the IESG.
<
Minor Concerns: <
Section 2: Please update the first paragraph to reference RFC
8174 <
in addition to RFC 2119, as follows: <
The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "REQUIRED", "SHALL", "SHALL
NOT", <
"SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "NOT RECOMMENDED", "MAY",
and <
"OPTIONAL" in this document are to be interpreted as described
in <
BCP 14 [RFC2119] [RFC8174] when, and only when, they appear in
all < capitals, as shown here.
Thanks, will update it. <
Nits: <
The document has many grammer errors. For example, the first
paragraph <
of the Introduction has three things that need to be
corrected: -
s/which has identical/which have identical/ -
s/labels(LABEL)/labels (LABEL)/ -
s/(V-tld);/(V-tld)./ <
In addition, there are several places in the document with
arbitrary <
extra white space. For example, in Section 8, it
says: <
<!-- <
Child elements of the <b-dn:create>
command <
All elements must be present at time of
creation <
--> <
Please correct the grammar and eliminate the extra white
space. <
Ins Section 7.2.2, some of the lines in the examples do not
begin <
with "S:". Please correct. < _______________________________________________
Thanks, we will have a detailed review and update it in the new version.
Jiankang Yao
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