Re: [radext] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-radext-coa-proxy-05

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On Aug 13, 2018, at 8:24 PM, Tim Evens <tievens=40cisco.com@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> Minor issues:
> 
> Nits/editorial comments: 
> Abstract contains "Section 3.1" which becomes an HTML reference
> link. This incorrectly links to the current draft section 3.1,
> not the intended RFC5176 Section 3.1.  This is repeated in 
> the introduction.  

  Fixed.

> IMO, that last sentence would read better with "corrects the omission"
> instead of "that."

  It's been reworded to be clearer over all.

> Code points are not summarized in IANA Considerations section. 

  Fixed.

> The references are not formatted per RFC7322.
> 
> The HTML rendering of Section 2.2 CoA Processing does not render
> the RFC5176 link correctly.  Bracketed references normally are followed
> by some text.

  I'll fix that.

> IMO, considering this draft updates 5176, I feel it would be better for the
> problem statement to be clearer on updates and clarifications. 

  Perhaps you could suggest text?  My understanding is that the problem statement is fairly clear:

* CoA proxying is currently impossible

  And the solution:

* define a method for doing CoA proxying

> In section 3.3, while humorous, I suggest dropping "on the planet." 

  Done.  And clarified substantially as a result of IESG feedback.

> Section 6 Security Considerations link for Section 11 of RFC6929 is 
> missing keyword "of." This results in two links instead of the correct
> link. 

  Fixed.





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