Having been to Singapore once before I am certain there are no room police patrolling the hotel corridors trying to ascertain what activities the guests are up to in their own rooms. There were also no personal questions asked at hotel registration as far as I recall ( I am sure I would have remembered that) so I don't see it as an especially hostile environment. I think the IETF should confirm with the meeting hotels that there will be no issues in that regard and also a check with the Singapore authorities that there will be no threat to IETF participants because of their orientation or marital status would be a sensible measure.
I’m sure they didn’t ask *you* any questions. But you might have gotten some response if you tried to check in with another man into a room that had just one bed. I’m not saying that you would. I don’t know, having never been in Singapore, but I can understand that it would be a concern.
Yoav