RE: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22.txt

[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

 



Thanks Russ,

That looks reasonable and tractable.

Adrian

> -----Original Message-----
> From: ietf [mailto:ietf-bounces@xxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Russ Housley
> Sent: 09 November 2014 22:42
> To: IETF; ccamp-chairs@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx; draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-
> info.all@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Cc: General Area Review Team
> Subject: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22.txt
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
> you may receive.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22
> Reviewer: Russ Housley
> Review Date: 2014-11-09
> IETF LC End Date: 2014-11-27
> IESG Telechat date: unknown
> 
> Summary: Almost ready; a few minor things to clear up.
> 
> Major Concerns:
> 
> None.
> 
> Minor Concerns:
> 
> In section 3, please add a sentence or two that explains switching
> subsystem and line subsystem.  The definitions might be best appear in
> Section 2.  I checked in RFC 6163, but I did not find a description of
> these terms there.
> 
> Other Comments:
> 
> Section 1 begins with:
> 
>    The purpose of the following information model for WSONs ...
> 
> In my opinion, it would be better to say something like:
> 
>    The purpose of the WSONs information model described in this
>    document ...
> 
> Likewise, in section 3, it says:
> 
>    The following WSON RWA information model ...
> 
> In my opinion, it would be better to say something like:
> 
>    The WSON RWA information model in this document ...
> 
> In section 5.1, 3rd paragraph, it says:
> 
>    ... Since not all input ports
>    can necessarily reach each resource block, the model starts with a
>    resource pool input matrix RI(i,p) = {0,1} whether input port i can
>    reach potentially reach resource block p.
> 
> s/reach potentially reach/potentially reach/
> 






[Index of Archives]     [IETF Annoucements]     [IETF]     [IP Storage]     [Yosemite News]     [Linux SCTP]     [Linux Newbies]     [Fedora Users]