Hi, Russ.
Two points:
On Tue, 2013-03-19 at 22:30 -0500, David Farmer wrote:
<snip>
>
> Rereading things again, I have another suggestion;
>
> 4) Split the Goals of the Internet registry system out of the
> Introduction. The Intro starts out talking about the document, its
> goals, and what is in scope and out of scope of the document. Then
> transitions to talking about the goals of the Internet registry system.
> I think the goals of the Internet registry system should be a separate
> section from the Introduction. And, the Introduction should be expanded
> to better describe the purpose of the document.
I agree fully with this comment. The first para of s1 needs a rewrite
and a little expansion to match up with the abstract to form a proper
intro. The goals do belong in a separate section
>
Also regarding the first para of s4:
This contains some woolly hand-waving weasel words at the end:
> Over the years, the Internet Numbers Registry System has developed
> mechanisms by which the structures, policies, and processes of the
> Internet Numbers Registry System itself can evolve to meet the
> changing demands of the global Internet community. Further evolution
> of the Internet Numbers Registry System is expected to occur in an
> open, transparent, and broad multi-stakeholder manner.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Who are these stakeholders? Is this (just) the organisations named in
the document (I think that would be ICANN/IANA, IETF, *IRs - a large
number!) or is the community to be consulted? and governments? So do we
have a view as to how all these people are to be informed that some
evolution is needed?
Regards,
Elwyn