I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-nsis-nslp-auth-06.txt Reviewer: Ben Campbell Review Date: 2010-08-31 IETF LC End Date: 2010-08-31 IESG Telechat date: (if known) Summary: This draft is almost ready for publication as an experimental RFC. There are some minor issues that should be considered first, and a few editorial comments. -Major issues: None -Minor issues: -- section 3.2.7, 2nd paragraph: "The creator of this attribute lists every NSLP object..." Is there an order requirement? At least, the order in this list must match the order in the signature, right? -- section 4.1.1, 2nd paragraph: Is HMAC-MD5 still a reasonable choice for a single mandatory-to-implement algorithm these days? -- Section 6.4, 1st paragraph: This paragraph seems to conflate authentication with authorization. Integrity protection provides authentication, from which one can apply authorization policy. But it's not authorization policy in itself. -- Section 7, 3rd paragraph: This seems to conflict with 3.2.7 and 3.2.8, which only conditionally require AUTHENTICATION_DATA to be included. -Nits/editorial comments: -- section 2, paragraph 2, 2nd sentence: s/chose/choose -- section 2, 5th paragraph, 1st sentence: "...operation of the authorization is to add one authorization policy object" Does this mean "... operation of the authorization layer..."? -- section 4.2, 2nd paragraph: "The ticket can be presented to the NSLP node via Kerberos by sending a KRB_CRED message to the NSLP node..." Who presents it? "...must be known in advance..." Who must know it? -- section 4.3.1.1, 1st paragraph: "...X509_V3_CERT, AUTHENTICATION_DATA MUST be generated following these steps" Who must generate it? -- section 4.3.1.1, 2nd paragraph: "...verification MUST be done following these steps:" Who must do the verification? -- section 4.3.1.1, 7th paragraph: " ... the public key of the authorizing entity can be extracted from the certificate." I assume this step is not intended to be optional, but the language "can be" implies that it is. -- section 4.3.1.2, 1st paragraph: "...AUTHENTICATION_DATA MUST be generated following these steps:" Who must generate it? -- section 4.3.1.2, first bullet in list of steps: That's not really a step. --... Third bullet Who signs it? -- ... First paragraph after first bullet list: "verification MUST be done" Who must do the verification? -- section 4.4, 1st paragraph after bullet list: The Key-ID in the AUTHENTICATION_DATA allows to refer" "allows" is a transitive verb in this context. I suggest "... allows [some actor] to refer", or "...allows the reference..." -- section 6.2.3, general: It's not clear to me if you mean for QNE/PDP to refer to one or the other, or the combination of the QNE and PDP. _______________________________________________ Ietf mailing list Ietf@xxxxxxxx https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/ietf