Reviewer: Hilarie Orman
Review result: Has Nits
Do not be alarmed. I generated this review of this document as part
of the security directorate's ongoing effort to review all IETF
documents being processed by the IESG. These comments were written
with the intent of improving security requirements and considerations
in IETF drafts. Comments not addressed in last call may be included
in AD reviews during the IESG review. Document editors and WG chairs
should treat these comments just like any other last call comments.
Minor grammar issue re the terms Network Telemetry, Network Analytics
and Network Observability. These are "processes", and I think
"Network Analysis" and "Network Observation" are better terms for
processes. For telemetry, the definition seems ambiguous as to
whether is is a process or the data collected by the process. If it
is a process, then the title should be "Network data collection" or
something similar.
"System: An assembly of components that exhibits some behavior." How
about simply "a collection of components in a network"? It's more
specific and introduces no undefined terms.
"Value: ... on a continuous variable (e.g., an analog measurement)"
The grammar is wrong, and the "continuous variable" terminology is,
as before, just wrong.
"Not all Changes are noteworthy (i.e., they do not have Relevance)."
That comment should be part of the section defining "Relevance".
"Event: The variation in Value of a Characteristic of a Resource at a
distinct moment in time (i.e., the period is negligible)." What
is the point of this? Any variation is a measured value, and a
measurement takes place at "a distinct moment in time."
"While a State may be observed at a specific moment in time, it
is actually determined by summarizing measurement over time in
a process sometimes called State compression." I don't think
that's the normal meaning of "state compression".
This version of the document is much improved over -07, and it doesn't
seem to have any negative security implications.
Hilarie
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