Reviewer: Mike McBride Review result: Has Nits The following suggestions make the document more readable/understandable to me. Well done, good document. 1. Introduction Existing: Specifically, this document describes an approach to how RFC 9543 Network Slices are realized within provider networks and how such slices are stitched to Transport Network resources in a customer site in the context of Transport Network Slices (Figure 1). Better: This document describes how RFC 9543 Network Slices are realized within provider networks and how such slices are stitched to Transport Network resources in a customer site in the context of Transport Network Slices (Figure 1). Best?: This document describes how RFC 9543 Network Slices are realized within provider networks and how such slices are stitched to Transport Network resources in a customer site (Figure 1). Existing: Concretely, the model uses (1) Layer 2 Virtual Private Network (L2VPN)... Better (there are 3 uses of "concretely" in this document and they can all be removed, it's distracting): The model uses (1) Layer 2 Virtual Private Network (L2VPN)... Existing: Figure 1 uses "SDP" and it isn't defined until page 13. Please consider defining it somewhere in the introduction. 3.2. 5G Network Slicing versus Transport Network Slicing Existing: Network slicing has a different meaning in the 3GPP mobile world and transport world. Better: Network slicing has different meanings in the 3GPP mobile and transport worlds. 3.4.1. 5G End-to-End Slice Orchestration Architecture Existing: This framework permits to manage connectivity together with SLOs. Better: This framework allows for managing connectivity with SLOs. 3.5. Mapping 5G Network Slices to Transport Network Slices Existing: In such a case, the Service Level Agreement (SLA) differentiation of slices would be entirely controlled at the 5G control plane, for example, with appropriate placement strategies: this use case is represented in Figure 9, where a User Plane Function (UPF) for the Ultra Reliable Low Latency Communication (URLLC) slice is instantiated at the edge cloud close to the gNB Centralized Unit User Plane (CU-UP) for better latency/jitter control, while the 5G control plane and the UPF for eMBB slice are instantiated in the regional cloud. Better: In this case, the Service Level Agreement (SLA) differentiation of slices would be entirely controlled by the 5G control plane using appropriate placement strategies. This use case is illustrated in Figure 9, where a User Plane Function (UPF) for the Ultra Reliable Low Latency Communication (URLLC) slice is instantiated at the edge cloud, close to the gNB Centralized Unit User Plane (CU-UP), to improve latency and jitter control. The 5G control plane and the UPF for the eMBB slice are instantiated in the regional cloud. 3.6. First 5G Slice versus Subsequent Slices Existing: The model described here in which the control plane is shared among multiple slices is likely to be common; it is not mandatory, though. Better: The model described here, in which the control plane is shared among multiple slices, is likely to be common; it is not mandatory however. Figure 16: MPLS Hand-off with Option C Existing: x Logical interface represented by a VLAN on s physical interface On figures 12 & 15 it just says .."on a physical interface". Did you mean to add "s" here for like "source"? I'm going to guess you meant "on a physical interface" since s and a keys are next to each other. -- last-call mailing list -- last-call@xxxxxxxx To unsubscribe send an email to last-call-leave@xxxxxxxx
