[Last-Call] Re: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-acme-ari-07

[Susan Hares <shares@xxxxxxxx>]

Aaron:

 

Thank you for your note, and for addressing my concerns.

 

If the SEC-DIR indicates you have resolved their concerns,  I am okay with the resolution.  

 

On the nits, thank you for adjusting the text.

 

Sue

 

From: Aaron Gable <aaron@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2024 8:01 PM
To: Susan Hares <shares@xxxxxxxx>
Cc: gen-art@xxxxxxxx; acme@xxxxxxxx; draft-ietf-acme-ari.all@xxxxxxxx; last-call@xxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-acme-ari-07

 

 

Hi Susan,

 

Thank you for the feedback. I've addressed these changes in the github working copy in https://github.com/aarongable/draft-acme-ari/pull/89, which will be included in the next version of the document. Individual comments inline below.

 

Thanks again,

Aaron

 

On Sun, Dec 8, 2024 at 1:06 PM Susan Hares via Datatracker <noreply@xxxxxxxx> wrote:

Minor Issues:
1) What happens in the case of a large clock skew between the ACME Client and servers, and

 

This topic was included in the Security Considerations section as a result of the DNSDIR review. I believe I have largely addressed their feedback.

 

2) Use of unauthenticated GET Requests.

 

This topic was included in the Security Considerations section as a result of the SECDIR review of draft -06. That reviewer has indicated that draft -07 satisfies their concerns.

 

Nits/editorial comments:
1. Introduction, Paragraph 1, Use of ";", problem: Unclear sentence.
reason: Grammar
Old text:/ They may be configured to renew at
   a specific interval (e.g., via cron); they may parse the issued
   certificate to determine its expiration date and renew a specific
   amount of time before then; or they may parse the issued certificate
   and renew when some percentage of its validity period has passed./

What's wrong:  The grammar usage for semi-color is that the phrases
separated by the ";" are equal restatements of the same information.
A different form of the list would be a clearer statement.

 

I've switched this sentence to use commas instead of semicolons. I believe the semicolons were holdovers from a prior version of this sentence that had more complex (comma-containing) structures within each list item.

 

2.  Section 6, paragraph 2, 2nd sentence, Unclear sentence 

Text:/ For example, a server might place the suggested renewal
   window wholly in the past to encourage a client to renew immediately;
   but a client with a sufficiently slow clock might see the suggested
   window as still being in the future./

Option1:
New text:/ For example, a server might place the suggested renewal
   window wholly in the past to encourage a client to renew immediately.
   However, a client with a sufficiently slow clock might see the suggested
   window as being in the future./

 

I've taken a slightly different approach to simplifying this sentence:

"For example, if a server places the suggested renewal window wholly in the past to encourage a client to renew immediately, a client with a sufficiently slow clock might nonetheless see the window as being in the future."

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