Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review result: Almost Ready
I am the assigned ART-ART reviewer for this draft. Please treat these
comments just like any other last call comments.
Document: draft-ietf-tsvwg-multipath-dccp-17
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2024-10-04
IETF LC End Date: 2024-10-17
IESG Telechat date: Unknown
Summary: Almost Ready
The document is very well written. Thanks for the significant effort.
Major Concerns:
Section 3.2.4: I find the notation confusing: hostA d-key(A)=(key-a+key-b).
Further, the use of "-" as part of the variable name is easy to confuse
with a math operator. I suggest that the paragraph be reworded to show
how to compute key_d_a and key_d_b, which also avoids the key names
looking like functions. Maybe:
Key Material is exchanged in plain text between hosts, and the key
parts (key_a, key_b) are used to generate the derived key (key_d)
by concatenating the two parts with the local key in front.
That is, key_d_a=key_a+key_b, and key_d_b=key_b+key_a.
If you accept this comment, then you might define the following:
* HMAC(A) = HMAC-SHA256(key_d_a, message)
* HMAC(B) = HMAC-SHA256(key_d_b, message)
Section 3.2.4: Is one of the Key Type mandatory-to-implement? I realize
that does not make that Key Type mandatory-to-use.
Section 3.2.6: The "Key" used for the HMAC computation is the derived
key (d-key) described in Section 3.2.4. This statement is ambiguous.
In the proposed rewording of Section 3.2.4, the two keys values are
key_d_a and key_d_b. Which one is used here? The answer appears in
the bullets that follow, but it would be more clear to say it one time
before the bullets. Further, both Hast A and Host B need to "perform"
the HMAC-SHA256 calculation. One host is doing it to compute the value
to include in the datagram, and the other is doing it to check the value
that was received.
Section 3.2.6: The text says:
... In the event that an
MP_HMAC cannot be associated with a suboption, unless it is an
MP_HMAC sent in DCCP-Ack in response to a DCCP-Response packet
containing an MP_JOIN option, this MP_HMAC MUST be ignored.
This text begs for an explanation of MP_HMAC sent in DCCP-Ack in
response to a DCCP-Response packet containing an MP_JOIN option.
If a sentence will not cover it, then please add a pointer to the
part of the document that discusses this situation.
Section 3.6: The text says: " (if this is not possible it MUST be
closed)." Please reword. Please do not burry the MUST statement in
a parenthetical.
Section 4: Please add a paragraph that describes the consequences for
choosing the Plain Text Key Type over ECDHE-C25519-SHA256 or
ECDHE-C25519-SHA512.
Minor Concerns:
The IANA registry indicates that Feature Number 10 was given a temporary
assignment. I expected to see a similar temporary assignment for Option
Type 46. Maybe this document will be published as an RFC before that
can happen, but it seems prudent to make the assignment.
Section 3.1: The text says:
Unlike the example in Figure 4, this document only allows the
negotiation of MP-DCCP version 0, which means that client and server
must support it.
I think it would be more clear to say:
Unlike the example in Figure 4, this document only allows the
negotiation of MP-DCCP version 0. Therefore, successful
negotiation of MP-DCCP as defined in this document, the client
and the server MUST both support MP-DCCP version 0.
Section 3.2.4: s/certificate authority/certification authority (CA)/
Also, you may want to reference RFC 5280 for a definition of a CA.
Section 3.2.8: The text says:
... Note that an
implementation MAY discard incoming address advertisements - for
example, to avoid the required mapping state, or because advertised
addresses are of no use to it (for example, IPv6 addresses when it
has IPv4 only). Therefore, a host MUST treat address advertisements
as soft state, and the sender MAY choose to refresh advertisements
periodically.
The nesting of examples makes this paragraph very difficult. First,
please separate the MUST statement and the MAY statement. Then, offer
examples to explain the reasons an implementation might choose to
discard incoming address advertisements or refresh advertisements
periodically.
Section 3.2.9: Different names are used for the inputs to compute the
HMAC key in this section. Please be consistent.
Nits:
General: Some sections use "Host A" and others use "host A". Please
pick one capitalization convention and use it throughout the document.
General: Please use "bytes" (not "Bytes") when discussing the length of
a field or message.
General: Please use "bytes" or "octets" when discussing the length of
a field or message. I have a mild preference for octets, but consistency
is desired.
Section 1.2: Please consider adding a definition of 4-tuple.
Section 2: There is something odd with the line breaks in the two
paragraphs.
Section 2.1: s/Hosts A and B, respectively./Hosts A and B./
Section 2.1: s/The two subflows continues/The two subflows continue/
Section 3.2.1: s/MP_SEQ Section 3.2.5/MP_SEQ; see Section 3.2.5/
Section 3.2.2: s/packet (See Section 3.2.6 for details)/
/packet; see Section 3.2.6 for details/
Section 3.2.2: s/needing to know what the source address at the receiver is/
/the need to know the source address at the receiver/
Section 3.2.7: s/down- and uplink/down-link and up-link/
Section 3.2.9: s/MP_SEQ Section 3.2.5/MP_SEQ (Section 3.2.5)/
Section 3.2.9: s/server, respectively on the affected subflow(s) (if possible)/
/server on the affected subflow(s), if possible)/
Section 3.2.10: I expected a paragraph for each example since "Example
use cases include:" is in a paragraph of its own.
Section 3.2.10: s/path values 3-15 depends/path values 3-15 depend/
Section 3.11.2: Please add white space between the adjacent paragraphs.
Section 5: s/Section 4/Section 4./
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